3850 Las Vegas Boulevard South
Las Vegas, NV 89109
Phone: (702) 597-7625

The Excalibur Electronic Poker Room - August 25, 2008

I played the room last night, and took an “almost professional” poker player with me to get his impressions of the new all-electronic setup, and also video some of the machines in play.

Neither of us had played these tables before, and the whole thing was completely new to both of us. He had seen the tables in California before … but had not played them.

This all-electronic system is in place for 6 months, at which time the Excalibur and the company which manufactures the machines will evaluate whether or not to make it permanent.

So how was the room?

First of all, the X Poker Room staff was very friendly and helpful, and made great efforts to explain the system. The floor person is willing to stand behind you as you play the first few hands until you get the hang of it. There is a “Call Floor” button on the table in the event you need to summon a human quickly, and there is always a floor person nearby. You aren’t totally flying blind.

Before you can play, you have to sign up for a special Excalibur Poker Room card … which looks exactly like an MGM/Mirage Player’s Club Card. You are added to a waiting list, and when your name is called, you put cash on the card and then you swipe it at the table. From that point on, everything you do is added or deducted to your account at the main server.

My buddy sat down at a 1/2 NL Game (which I recorded a portion of), and I took a seat at a .50/$1 NL game. I had never seen a game with such a low limit, and it fascinated me. It was also the most popular game with the longest waiting list.

In general, the players were very poor, and I ended up making a reasonable amount of money at the table. They all seemed like Internet players, and had little concept of real table interaction. It was awkward at times. I think they are used to sitting at home and yelling at their screens when they get beaten, and they are not used to people being able to respond.

For instance, I doubled my stack on one hand. I had pocket J’s. I made a modest raise to narrow the field to 3.

The flop came J-5-2 rainbow.

Since the players were fairly loose, I decided to play it slow, so I checked.

The Internet Player (hereafter referred to as “IP”) to my left made a sizable raise, the next player folded.

I pushed all-in.

IP looked at me quizzically and squealed “check raise?”

I said nothing, as I thought what I had done was obvious and not in need of further clarification. I’m assuming that he makes these exclamations to his computer monitor at home, but I am usually very quiet when in a hand.

He thought for a moment, and then called me off.

Since I was all-in, the computer flipped the cards over, and showed the percentages like they do on TV (a cool feature).

He had a set of 5’s, I had a set of J’s.

He groaned the whole way to the river, then this exchange took place:

IP: “I knew you had pocket jacks!”

Me: “If you knew I had pocket jacks, why did you call me?”

IP: “I couldn’t fold a set of fives! I had to play them. Who in their right mind would fold a set of fives?”

Me: “Someone who knows his opponent has a set of jacks.”

He seemed utterly perplexed at my logic, and didn’t get the point.

The point was that he had no idea that I had jacks, and that he proved as much. Money talks, bullshit walks.

Apparently this is not a recognized tenant of Internet Poker.

He then sought the reassurance of other players. At least two of them comforted him with “Yeah, you can’t fold a set of fives.”

That’s how good these guys were.

Mind you that I had folded the previous 20 hands before this pre-flop, not even calling off a dollar. If a tight ass like me raises, the odds are very heavily in my favor. For whatever reason, the players at the table didn’t pick up on this, which is good for me. Many tourists don’t pick up on it and that is how I make money playing cards here.

Soon thereafter, I left the table.

Is it because I doubled up and that is my goal?

Partially. It seemed like these guys were good for more cash, but they were loose and lucky on many hands I saw … so one or two monsters is all the risk I wanted to take before donkey luck bit me in the ass.

What actually caused me to leave the table very early, was four Germans. One to my left, and three to my right … all speaking German … unless they were insulting the Americans …. in which case the Germans spoke English quite well.

They were yammering in German during the hands non-stop. I have never encountered this before. All physical tables in Vegas are English-only, and I was not comfortable playing with four German friends speaking to each other in a way that I could not understand.

First of all, it is the most god-awful language to have ever been invented. It sounds as though they are hocking loogies at each other constantly, but somehow that became a language. I kept expecting to get hit on the side of the face with a wad of lung mucous everytime they spoke.

Seriously, it’s a harsh fucking language.

But there they were … four guys at the table speaking in their own secret code, and that wasn’t cool to me.

Were they discussing their cards while they were in play? I have no idea.

Because of their demeanor … probably.

They were obnoxious Eurotrash. They briefly paused to speak English, but only to insult an English player. When they would win they would taunt the American, then say something in German, and all four of them would laugh in unison.

To say they were douchebags would be an understatement. They were twenty and thirty somethings, bathed in cologne, carefully coiffed, dressed in 80’s preppy clothes and they made creepy comments at every passing female.

It was like a really, really bad Saturday Night Live sketch. As a matter of fact, had I seen it on SNL, I would have said “Now the producers are just going overboard”.

The experience was not entertaining for me, because I couldn’t understand what half of the table was saying until they ridiculed someone.

For a brief moment, I wish we had restarted WWII, because at that point I would have enlisted just to shoot these fuckers, at which point I would have gone AWOL.

The atmosphere was just terrible, and the collusion concerns that people have are very real, IMHO.

I didn’t see a German lose one heads-up hand versus an American, and they all talked in German during play. Maybe it was a coincidence, and maybe not. I don’t speak German so I have no idea.

The lack of an English-only rule will ensure that I don’t return until one is put in place. If I want to risk collusion, I’ll play online. I don’t need to go to a brick and mortar casino for it.

As far as the machines themselves are concerned, they are actually pretty cool. They do indeed speed up play … once you get the hang of them. There are a myriad of personal options such as “always muck”, “away from table”, it shows you the last hand, including a play-by-play of how it went down, and has all kinds of really cool features that I wasn’t expecting … including “Rabbit Hunt”.

For an additional $.50 debited from your account, you can rabbit hunt the previous hand on your screen … just to see if you would have made the flush if you hadn’t folded.

The rake was 10% or $3 max per hand, and there was no tipping (except for the waitress) which will certainly increase a frequent player’s bankroll over time.

I did have a difficult time pressing the touch screen. It often wouldn’t acknowledge me, and I would have to repeatedly tap it or use the edge of my players card. From what I understand, these can be individually calibrated.

I was also unsure how to raise at first. I was trying to raise $25, but raised only $5 on pocket queens pre-flop, and ended up losing the hand with four callers and a raise when I folded after A-K-3 hit the flop. I thought I was beaten with the A or K, but it turned out that the guy who won the hand had pocket 3’s. I’m assuming he would have folded to a $25 raise pre-flop. We were playing a fifty cent small blind so I am assuming that pocket 3’s would not have been worth twenty five bucks, but I’ll never know for sure.

I really liked the $.50/$1 structure. There was plenty of action when the cards were in play, but I could easily afford to sit back and wait for a monster without paying much attention to the blinds.

The machine allows you to chop the pot if nobody calls the big blind, but both players have to agree. I always chop. The one time I tried to do it in the small blind, the German to my left refused, then bet at the flop. I folded my 9-3o and told him to buy something nice for himself with the fifty cents. Since that is post 1985 sarcasm, he’ll get it in another 20 years or so.

The room wasn’t terribly full (3-4 tables going at any given time from 6-10pm), but it is not “Grand Opened” yet. They will be having one in the next couple of weeks.

Overall, this place has potential. It is an interesting concept and it may catch on, but I don’t know how often I will personally play there.

I am very fond of the low blinds, fast play, technological options, and incredibly shitty players, but at times I felt as if I was getting the worst of both worlds. I had to put clothes on and sit in traffic to sit in front of a computer screen as the people around me spoke to each other in a manner that I could not understand.

I am not 100% sure how different that is from Internet Poker, if at all. It’s kind of like an Internet Cafe where everyone is playing online poker against each other. I’m not sure if they need to be in each other’s physical presence.

The nature of the game seemed to bring out the douchebag in people. The Americans were know-it-alls (who played like shit), and the rest of the people were Eurofucks.

The “feel” to the game is very, very different.

It definitely attracts the Internet player crowd, and I am not really familiar with their culture, or lack thereof. It’s an odd vibe.

I think it may find a niche’. It’s the only all-electronic room in town, and the technology is very impressive. There are no misdeals or misread hands, everyone gets the correct number of chips, and there is no tipping. It certainly solves some problems with human dealers.

For recreation, I still prefer the tactile nature of regular felt-table poker with human dealers, but I can see where this game is coming from. I don’t think they will ever replace real dealers anymore than video blackjack got rid of real tables, but there will be a draw.

For a quick hit-and-run of overconfident braggart Internet players, this may be a source of income to add to the fraternity showoffs at the Mandalay Bay.

And there is a tram.

I like what they are doing over at the X. They have the right attitude. The staff is fantastic and helpful, and they seem excited about the product. You get a $4 food comp if you play for a few hours, and the cocktail waitresses come by about every 15 minutes. If they could stop the Tower of Babel thing, it would be better.

My “professional” friend also came out ahead, and told me that he might return simply because the quality of the players was poor. It took him some time to get used to the game, but he saw the same advantages that I did. No tipping added to his take. He still prefers felt, but may return from time to time for some low-limit action.

I think that is what the X is aiming for. They don’t expect people to play 100% of their poker there, but if enough people just play 10%, the room will be worthwhile.

I do hope they succeed. It’s unique, and it just may be what saves the X Poker Room.

This type of poker is certainly not for everyone, but it’s for enough people that I think it could do well.

It is certainly worth at least trying the next time you are in Vegas.