The Moon and The Space Needle. Reflected.
When I realized that Washington would be one of the first states in the union to legalize marijuana, I had some concerns.
Not because I thought it should remain illegal, no, the War on Some Drugs When Used by Poor People is nuts. Instead, I was concerned because I didn’t think the least considerate state in the country would be good torchbearers for the new policy.
The nation’s eyes are on our fair state to see how legalization will play out in normal, polite society, and as I stood outside with my family watching the fireworks last night,
Continue reading The MEattle, er, Seattle 2014 July 4th Fireworks
“If you ask me, you look like a couple of them ‘Canadian’ geese.”
I took this photo moments before they got taken in for obstruction.
When I get the standard reply from suburban soccermoms, I just politely concede my children’s disadvantage.
“They don’t have a yard? They share a room? You don’t have a car?”
“You’re right”, I say sheepishly, “You’re right. Next year, we’re going to.”
They don’t understand, they can’t understand, nor do I want them to. Instead, I play up the “poor us” angle. It makes honkies feel better about themselves.
Two generations of white flight has left the vast majority of suburban Americans completely ignorant of urban life. “What if they get mugged?”, is another oft-repeated question, which
Continue reading Summer Break in Seattle
A Female Deer!
Alright, I have no idea if this is a female deer or not.
At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
When I spotted this deer outside my office window today, it’s not like I ran over and inspected its genitalia.
Because that would be, you know, weird and stuff.
So, I didn’t do it.
Fine, it ran away before I got the chance, but when I said I didn’t do it, I wasn’t lying.
I don’t fornicate with animals!
Continue reading Doh!
I just got back from the Gay Pride parade.
It was cool, and it was entertaining in spots … it usually is, but this year more than any other, I felt as if I were watching a really, really long commercial.
I kind of was.
As the corporate groups passed by, one of the guys MC’ing the parade appeared to be reading an advertising copy for the companies … Alaskan Airlines, Uber, and at one point, we were even encouraged to “Let’s hear it for Starbucks!”
Despite the whole “progressive” routine, we Seattleites love large corporations like few other cities.
Continue reading Pictures from the Seattle Gay Pride Parade 2014
Stereotypes? What Stereotypes? I don’t see any stereotypes?
Did you know that cherry trees only produce fruit after a long cold-spell?
It’s true. This is why cherries grow in British Columbia, but don’t grow in the tropics.
You see, the cherry tree is extremely averse to procreating in autumn, because it “knows” that its offspring will not survive the winter. In order to improve the odds of its species’ survival, the cherry tree waits until after cold weather passes before procreating.
Survival of the species. It’s one of the strongest instincts on earth. It’s so strong that it’s even
Continue reading Seattle Gay Pride 2014
Yeah, right, like someone’s going to plug seventy five cents into a soda machine that has “Mystery” written on all of its buttons in crazy serial killer letters.
I mean, us Seattleites may be naive, but we weren’t born yest …
*sigh* … Alright then, I stand corrected.
I didn’t know whether to jeer or applaud when this woman got nothing out of this machine standing just east of Broadway & John St. Instead, all part of me could think was “Half of the world’s population lives on less than a dollar per day, and this lady just
Continue reading The Mystery Machine
The Seattle Skyline from Kerry Park on June 21, 2014
Queen Anne Hill at Sunset
World’s Worst Photo of Anything Ever
Buzz Osborne. King Buzzo. Guy with the greatest hair in … well, the greatest hair anywhere.
As a prototypical member of what became known as “Generation X”, I hold a certain reverence for Buzz. When the music of my generation was being molded, Buzz was there, spinning the pottery wheel, yelling “Loosen the top string! Yeah, the fat one on top! Alright, now slow it down a little!”
Oh sure, it had been done before, but when Buzz began experimenting with drop-D noise, it just sounded better. It made me want to try
Continue reading Buzz Osborne … Unplugged?
While waiting at the dock this evening, I spotted an unusual bird sitting on a rail. The bird was bobbing its head and flailing about, so I grabbed my camera and zoomed in to see what was happening.
What I saw made my stomach churn.
It was a hideously ugly bird, and it was beating the everloving shit out of some helpless fish. The bird was holding the fish in its beak, and each time the fish flinched, the bird slammed the fish against the rail. In that split second, I named the bird “Ike” and the fish “Tina”.
Continue reading Flying Fishbeater
The three most important aspects of real estate have been completely lost on our avian brethren.
For the past month, each time my boat has docked in Seattle, there has been a calamity at the front of the boat. As it turns out, there is one particular seagull who decided that the best place to build her nest, was on a boat bumper. A boat bumper for the nation’s largest ferry fleet, no less. Clearly, this is a bird with aspirations for the Seattle City Council.
Each time the gigantic boat docks, the seagull flies into a rage, screeching to
Continue reading Location, Location, Location
WARNING! Before I go any further, it is very important that readers from California use this link to view the current article. There is a known virus going around which, for some reason, only targets computers with a geolocated California IP address. Because of this, I’ve created a section of the website which has neutralized this threat. Failure to use this link from California may result in rapid virus propagation, inflicting all nearby computers with malware and all kinds of other badness. Again, Californians, please use this link:
California version of this blog post
“Why do you
Continue reading The Answer
Chronological Adults in Cal Anderson Park
My kid just came back from a birthday party, and I am perplexed.
The party was cool enough, and everyone seemed to have fun, however, when my daughter began recounting her experiences during the ‘games’ portion of the party, I thought she was putting me on.
“We played games for about two hours.”, she said.
“Cool, how did you do?”, I asked.
“Well, everyone did the same.”, she replied as she rolled her eyes.
She told me about the egg and spoon race, where each child had to race around a course while
Continue reading Evolution Aborted
Seattle Rex’s Instrument
Raise Minimum Wage to $15 Rally in Westlake Park
If you think it’s expensive to live in Seattle now, you ain’t seen nothing yet.
In perhaps the single largest repayment of bribes Seattle has ever seen, today, the City Council KY-ed the sphincter of every middle-and-lower-class Seattleite, bent them over, and spread their cheeks wider than the town’s ever-growing income gap.
Oh yes, my fellow middle-class urbanites, we’re about to get loved from the backside by every hipster hotel builder from here to Timbuktu, and it’s only going to be about half as fun as it sounds.
In a unanimous
Continue reading The City Council Votes to Annihilate the Working-Class. Again.
“Oh my God”, said the teenaged tourist girl, “what’s going on? What’s happening?”
I looked up from my computer, and noticed that she was looking out of the window with concern. Curious, I looked out of the window as well, and that’s when I spotted the object of her fear.
Coast Guard Gun Boat on the Puget Sound
It was small inflatable boat with a comically-large gun mounted on the front. Behind the gun was a person standing with his finger on the trigger, ready to annihilate … a fish? an orca? a kayaker? a drunken tourist on an
Continue reading Subjugation on the Sound
Last night was Mike McCready’s annual benefit concert at the Showbox. This was the 12th Annual benefit show for the CCFA (Crohns & Colitis Foundation of America) and my 2nd in a row.
So far, these shows have been fairly consistent, and always excellent. After an opening act, followed by an always-excellent jam session with local musicians, Flight to Mars takes the stage for a 90-ish minute set.
For those who may not know, Flight to Mars is a local band which mostly plays covers from classic English metal band “UFO”. While this may not sound terribly compelling on paper, believe me
Continue reading Flight to Mars 2014
Seagull Parents Guarding Nest
As it turns out, not all beings in Seattle are ©”Too Selfish to Have Kids”.
Perhaps the majority of humans are, but as this seagull couple show, some of us are still okay with putting the mackdown smackdown on a fly hoo-haa and watching as the expulsion of our gonadonal love lava furthers the survival of our species.
That being said, while I used to somewhat worry about the large decrease in offspring by the supposed intellectually elite, no longer is this the case.
Last month, we threw a birthday part for my daughter, and
Continue reading Guarding the Egg
The Seattle Aquarium
As a season pass-holder to the Seattle Aquarium, I spend quite a bit of time at this attraction.
For a city of “only” 600,000 people, ours is an aquarium befitting a significantly larger city. For the most part, we have it all.
We’ve got touch tanks, seals, sea otters, an octopus, and all kinds of weird things I wouldn’t even try to pronounce.
I took a few photos on my last visit, the results of which are on this page. (photos from a previous visit are here)
The Seattle Aquarium is open from 9:30am – 6pm
Continue reading The Seattle Aquarium
Sakura-Con 2014: Main Hall
I don’t understand white people. Seriously. I am to white people what Tiger Woods is to black people.
For instance, I’ve never been camping. I’ve been invited, but I never wanted anything to do with it. Trust me, if you’ve ever spent a night sleeping on the New York City Subway because you didn’t have a place to go home to, you thank your lucky stars each and every day you have a king-sized bed, five computers, a quiet place to shit, and a door that locks. You sure as hell don’t leave it all
Continue reading Sakura-Con 2014
Orca Swimming in Elliott Bay, Seattle
I first caught glimpse of it just south of the ferry terminal at 9:36am this morning.
From there, the orca began swimming along the Seattle waterfront, about 100 yard from shore, until I lost sight of it somewhere around Interbay.
These shots were taken between 9:40am – 9:42am.
Unfortunately, I shot most of it through a filthy window, so the pictures aren’t good as they could have been … but when you spot a killer whale in Elliott Bay, you take when you can get.
Orca Swimming in Elliott Bay, Seattle
Continue reading Orca in Elliott Bay
Is this badass?
Is it a hissy-fit?
Is it a “This ain’t the suburbs, welcome to the real world” rite of post-collegiate passage through which all affluent white people must pass?
I submit that it’s all three.
Most urban natives learn around age 9 that anything not fully secured has a pretty good chance of being gone when you get back. Hell, my daughter has had two cellphones stolen in the last 6 months, and has already developed a paranoia that these precious folks three times her age have yet to cultivate.
That said, it’s stuff like this
Continue reading Seattle. We Do Passive-Aggressive Like Nobody’s Business.
With the exception of the obvious; namely the watermark and jpg compression; this photograph was not post-processed in any way. I didn’t even adjust the colors or exposure.
Even though it looks like a green-screen capture, it’s simply an out-of-the-can picture I made about 6 hours ago.
Seattle – Walking Nude in Rain
I just got back home from a foray up to Broadway Optical, and along the way, I snapped some shots of the throngs of people carrying umbrellas for yet another “nobody carries an umbrella in Seattle” post.
As I was cropping the photo, I noticed a lady toward the center-top. If my eyes do not deceive me, this lady is not wearing any clothes.
I’m not sure if it was a movie shoot, an art piece, or what, but I wish I would have seen her sooner so I could have gotten a
Continue reading Naked Lady on Pike Street???
Every day, twice a day.
1/10th of my waking life.
That’s how often, and how much time, respectively, I spend on this aging thing.
Well, either this, or its brother The Tacoma.