It tastes kind of like chicken … and tar.

Anyway …

I was at a buddy’s condo this afternoon, and we were hanging out on the balcony because the weather was kind of mild.

Some old guy passed us limping down the sidewalk. He was obviously talking to himself and had a mental illness, but (in all seriousness) that is not uncommon in this town. It’s not uncommon in any urban area.

All of a sudden a cop car stopped next to the guy, and two cops got out. I had no idea anything unusual was going to go down, so I didn’t get the action on camera. I was just sitting there talking not really thinking anything of it.

The next thing I knew, the cops face-planted the old man off of the sidewalk and into the street in front of the cruiser.

I didn’t see any scuffle or altercation beforehand, I just saw the two cops grab the guy and take him down.

To their credit (and it’s a shame we have to give credit for such things), they didn’t Rodney King the guy when they got him on the ground. They handcuffed him and then helped him up.

Obviously the guy was saying things to them during the incident, and maybe shouting at them, but that’s what mentally ill people do.

Curiously, an ambulance showed up literally within seconds of this happening. Either they were just passing by and saw what happened, or their response time is getting really, really good.

The cops put him on the gurney and un-handcuffed him (ergo, the did not really think he was all that dangerous) … and they put him into the ambulance.

Then they hung out behind the ambulance for about 5 minutes chatting and laughing with the ambulance crew. They were certainly in no hurry to get the old man anywhere.

Call me a liberal pussy if you wish, but I just didn’t dig watching the old guy being thrown face-first off of the sidewalk and onto the asphalt.

Severe mental illnesses are an organic illness like cancer or diabetes.

If given this choice:

Do you want to be mentally ill?

1) Yes

2) No

I’m sure that absolutely everyone would pick option #2.

I seriously doubt that someone wants a biochemical disease of the brain. It would be like asking someone if they wanted AIDS.

However, more often than not, mentally ill people are treated as if they woke up one morning and said “You know what, I think I’m going to go insane!”

That’s typically not how it goes down at all. They have no more control over it than a woman who develops breast cancer.

The man walked very slowly with a pronounced limp, and he sure as hell wasn’t going anywhere. I grant you that it would have taken more time and patience to cuff him in a more gentle manner (and they had plenty of time to chat afterward), but I would personally have taken the extra 15 minutes to find a way to get him into custody. Like I said, he certainly wasn’t going anywhere and he didn’t seem to present much of a physical threat. I guess that’s why I would make a shitty cop.

I don’t consider two armed guys taking down an unarmed old guy “heroic”, and I never will. I realize that after 9/11, cops are supposed to be heroes every time they pass gas, but I did not drink that particular flavor of kool-aid yet.

Despite all of this, I am not going to do the cop-bashing “excessive force” thing. It was certainly excessive to the point that it definitely wasn’t 100% necessary, but they did let up after they had him on the ground. I assure you that I have seen much, much worse.

These cops didn’t appear to be “bad”, “out of control”, on a “power trip” or any of the sensational claims that are sometimes made. Unfortunately, that’s simply how they are taught to take everyone down. I don’t agree with it, but nobody cares what I think.

They seemed to get no joy out of hurting the guy, that’s just how the book says to deal with people who don’t immediately comply with a demand. I’m sure being a cop and having to deal with annoying people all day is a pain in the ass. It’s probably very similar to being a cocktail waitress … with a gun.

Since I doubt the guy had health insurance, and since this is America, the greatest country in the world (conclusively proven by Michael Phelp’s fast swimming) … my suspicion is that you will be eating this man at the Imperial Palace buffet in the near future.

We need people who can’t pay out of our health care system, and Strip buffets need inexpensive mystery meat.

It’s win-win!