I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again … Las Vegas “meteorologists” are potentially the most useless carbon-based life forms to have ever inhabited the earth.

Yes, that includes the platypus.

Why oh why do they pay these people?

Aren’t there starving children in Bangladesh that could eat for seventy eight years with the salary these people make?

After it rained in some areas of Clark County yesterday (Thanks for the heads up!), they threw a 20% chance of rain up for today to cover their ass.

“Oops, it rained … quick, throw a chance of rain up there!”

I can hear it in the newsrooms across town now: “You forgot to cover your ass with a 20% chance of showers yesterday, and broke our streak of perfect forecasts! Heads are going to roll!”

Honestly, other than the rest of the human race, I can’t think of a more useless group of people than Las Vegas “meteorologists”.

Anyway, there is a 20% chance of rain today. As there is every day. And if by chance there isn’t a 20% chance of rain … and it rains … then there is a retroactive 20% chance for that day.

You sure as hell can’t get much more conclusive than that.

Hey guys, I just want to take a moment and speak for the entire city when I say: Thanks for the excellent job you do of keeping us informed!

You do realize what this means, though?

It means that on any given day, it is more probable that I will be right, than it will rain.

Dear John Hinckley,

My name is Jodie Foster.

I’ve decided to take you up on your marriage proposal.

However, before that happens, you need to do something to impress me.

You see, I really hate Las Vegas meteorologists …