Rex's Las Vegas Blog

Selling Your Soul
March 13th, 2010

There is one aspect of Rexville that people have been asking me to cover for roughly the past six months, but I have so far resisted doing so. At least in-depth.

In addition to weekly motels, wedding chapels, drug sales, streetwalkers-r-us, tattoo parlors, strip clubs, and bail bonds places ... the next most prominent business type in the neighborhood would probably be pawn shops. I don't think I've ever seen a two-square-mile area in the world with more pawn shops than Rexville. Unfortunately, these are probably the businesses in which I am the least interested.

Something about pawn shops have always depressed me. They represent the aspect of capitalism that I am the least fond of. Basically, one man's misfortune is another's gain. I generally don't think well of payday loan places, or realtors who take customers on tours of houses where the occupants have just been thrown on the street. I could never go to a foreclosure sale or an auction where people's lives are sold off piece-by-piece. I would feel like a parasite.

The USA has gone from a nation of innovators to a nation of professional middle-men. We don't really produce anything anymore. Instead, we just stick our finger in as many jars as we can find. We re-sell the same product or service as many times as possible so that multiple people can skim value off of something they had no hand in creating.

Why create something of value when you can buy, sell, or broker it?

Read more ...


Word To Your Mother Earth
March 12th, 2010

Now, I've taken a lot of criticism for my "climate change" stance, but of all of the things I get criticized for, I consider these attacks to be the most unwarranted and unjustified.

In my mind, when people criticize me for making fun of global warming, it is akin to meth addicts with DARE bumper-stickers chastising me for my caffeine intake. It's irrational.

If one were to do a comprehensive audit of fully-functional 41 year old males in the USA (paraplegics probably use little gasoline), I would estimate that my personal lifetime carbon footprint would place me in the bottom ten percentile ... if not the bottom five.

I've always made it priority #1 to live where things were actually located. I've never "driven to work" on a daily basis. I've walked, biked, roller bladed, and taken the bus/subway ... but hour-long daily automobile commutes are a completely foreign concept to me. Driving in traffic feels like torture and I go to great lengths to avoid it.

Sure, I own a car now, but I've earned it. I paid my "carbon" dues in spades for damn near 35 years. I'm too banged up to self-propel myself quite as far as I used to. Especially in 110 degree temperatures. Still, personal drives of over 5 miles are uncommon, and I still overwhelmingly prefer the bus or the monorail. On a day-to-day basis, my "carbon footprint" is still probably 80% less than the average suburbanite's.

Read more ...


How Long Is Your Yardstick?
March 11th, 2010

The LVCVA reported average daily rates as $99.75 while a major hotel-booking site reported them to be $79.

For those of you keeping score at home, the LVCVA is being 26% more optimistic than the private company. The private company also says that rates dropped 18% in 6 months, and the LVCVA says they only fell 4% in an entire year.

Who's right? Who's wrong?

Who knows?

The thing about stats is ... they usually lie.

Numbers are easy to throw out, and since few people have the resources or initiative to double-check them, you can more or less make numbers up and still sound plausible. Even if you do know absolutes, there are a myriad of ways to manipulate them to show what you want to prove. For example, the Visitor's Authority may have used a smaller starting number (104 vs. 109) to make the decrease look less dramatic.

Read more ...


The Resurrexion
March 10th, 2010

I just got out of the hospital, and first let me say that I very much appreciate all of the well-wishes. I even appreciate some of the questionable-wishes, such as those opining that I had some venereal disease, and even the one person who took the time out of his day to email me a simple "I hope you die".

I'm sure the latter was not a unique sentiment, so kudos for having the courage to say what many others were surely thinking. And by courage, I mean "sending an unsigned email from an anonymous email account". It must have taken hours to work up the strength to do that.

Can you imagine Rosa Parks in 2010?

From: sweet_mama_chocolate87156@yahoo.com To: The Montgomery Transit Authority

I'm sick and tired of your discriminatory policies, and I'm not going to take it anymore. If you don't let black folks sit at the front of the bus, I'm gonna post all of your email addresses on alt.sex.bestiality and post pictures of your racist drivers on 4chan!"

The Black Panthers would probably coordinate wholly via Twitter, where uprisings would be routinely thwarted by "service unavailable" and "check out our latest deals!" messages. The 140 character limit would probably also lead to some confusion.

"We are sick and tired of the white devil keeping us down. If you are with us, fight the power and rally at the intersection of 181st Street and M..."

"Sorry, that last message was too long. We will be rallying at 181st Street and Market Avenue. We are mad as hell and will not take it anymore. Make sure you are there promptly at N..."

It's a good thing the civil rights movement happened 50 years ago.

Read more ...


The Blind Leading the Blind
March 6th, 2010

This is exactly why I don't read fiction.

The truth is so much more bizarre.

On Thursday, President O'Drama signed the "Travel Promotion Act" into law.

This particular act is designed to convince people from other countries to vacation in the Unites Sates. The act will be funded by a $10 fee on all tourists to the U.S.

That's right, we will begin luring people to our great nation by charging them more money before they even set foot on our soil.

So far, so bad.

That's nowhere near the worst part, however.

Read more ...


Life in the Slow Lane
March 4th, 2010

Earlier tonight, I engaged in a bit of ghetto gambling. This was not the "play at the Western" version of ghetto gambling, instead, it was the cheap person version. Ghetto gambling is gaming that has all the fun of gambling, without any of the risk or reward. My own personal rendition of ghetto gambling involves taking only $20 to a local casino (usually the Sahara or Stratosphere) without an ATM card or even a wallet. Then, I play along these lines: I start out with $20, and I begin playing at a $3 or $5 table. I play a few hands until I double up or lose 50%. Unfortunately, I do not tip during these minor sessions unless I go on a big streak, and even then it's no more than a couple of bucks. If I double up, I pocket $20, and then proceed to play with "free" money at whatever low-limit game I feel like playing. The worst I can do is break-even on the session. If I get dinged for 50% early, I go to the $1 BJ tables or nickel Video Poker machines. If I manage to double up at these tables or machines, I go back to a "higher" limit ($3-$5) BJ table and repeat the process. If I lose it all ... I stop playing. At times, I have been able to make a single $20 bill last two hours while ghetto gambling, while getting the occasional free drink in the process. Read more ...


Rex's Las Vegas Lists

How To Spend Your Bachelor Weekend in Las Vegas (25 Do's and Don'ts)
March 2nd, 2010

30 Must Follow Rules For Any Las Vegas Casino Gambler - Part 2
February 24th, 2010

30 Must Follow Rules For Any Las Vegas Casino Gambler - Part 1
February 17th, 2010

Top 15: Las Vegas Spots Not Found on a Tourist Map
January 27th, 2010

Top 10: Epic Las Vegas Heists
January 12th, 2010

Top 10: Best Looking Las Vegas Cocktail Waitresses
January 4th, 2010

Top 10 Best Las Vegas Gaming Pits
December 8th, 2009

17 Things First Time Visitors Must Do in Las Vegas
November 23rd, 2009

15 Ways To Get Kicked Out of a Las Vegas Casino
November 9th, 2009

July 22nd, 2008

VegasRex: The Half-Assed Blogger Who Is 30% Accurate!

Steve Wynn

Reader “It2008″ posted the following interview of Steve Wynn in our forums:

http://www.lvrj.com/news/25749559.html

What particularly amused the reader was the following comment:

“We have had recessions, two or three of them, and we’ve lived through them,” Wynn said. “The difference now is that we have all these Internet bloggers and half-assed observers. Seventy percent of what they write is total bullshit and total fiction. “

I can just imagine Steve sitting at his computer every day.

“Goddamn it, I did not steal dealer’s tips! Those fucking liars!”

Both Steve and the RJ have finally outdone themselves.

We are 70% wrong … unlike the mainstream media who gives it to you straight, accurately and unbiased every time!

Like this …

“Always Look on the Bright Side of Life,” is a popular song from the Broadway musical “Spamalot,” which recently ended its 14-month run at Wynn Las Vegas.

Wynn Resorts Ltd. Chairman and CEO Steve Wynn seems to have taken those lyrics to heart.

Oh for crying out loud, are you shitting me?

This Stutz guy should be writing greeting cards for Hallmark, not reporting the “news”.

Does anyone have an extra set of knee pads for Howard Stutz?

It’s going to be a long year, and if he is going to smoke the pole like that every time, he is certainly going to need several more pairs.

Another thing that jumped out at me …. since when does the Review Journal publish the word “bullshit”?

Did they start doing that before or after they began peddling geriatric porn on their website?

I guarantee you that the editor of the RJ was pissing himself with glee when he read Steve’s comment. He probably ran down to the printing press himself and started the machine while screaming “This will show those little bastards who’s boss!”

Holy shit, the entire newsroom probably sat around and jerked off all day while reading that sentence. To a “news”paper, a comment like that is the same as a “Dear Penthouse” letter is to me.

Two birds with one stone, kiss Wynn’s ass, and disparage the “alternative media” in one shot.

Well done, fuckers.

Errr, almost.

You see guys, you failed again … as you usually do.

Fail

Much like the useless “journalists” you are, you conveniently forgot to ask him specifically which 70% we were “wrong” about.

It’s easy to say that people are wrong, but if you can’t be specific, it is not terribly useful.

And better yet, exactly which 30% is it that we got right.

That information would be helpful and relevant.  No?

Or do the editors suspect, as I do, that Steve completely pulled those numbers directly out of his anal cleft?

It’s no great secret that the great Steve Wynn does not like to be second guessed or criticized.

My homey (and I can call Steve my homey because we are down like that) grew up in a day and age when the press bent over every time his dick got hard.

This whole “Internet” thing drives him batshit, and he just doesn’t know what to make of it.

I guess the only thing he can do anymore is run off to the “legitimate” press, and make a blanket assertion that everyone else is almost always wrong … and said legitimate press will gladly print it. (along with geriatric porn)

This serves a dual purpose. It helps the “legitimate” press promote themselves as bastions of accuracy while kissing Steve’s ass … ensuring future access to Steve for the newspaper.

Hey, it’s a win-win for everyone!

Except the reader, who still gets force-fed crap every day (courtesy of sponsored advertising).

Yellow Journalism: It’s not just for half-assed bloggers anymore.

It’s all my fault that Las Vegas has gone to hell.  Declining service and odds have nothing to do with it … it’s those pesky bloggers making things up.  Yeah, that’s it … they’re to blame!  That’s Steve’s story, and goddamn it, he is sticking to it.

Now if you guys will excuse me, I’m off to The Strip to find some 30% accurate news.

One of these days I’m going to hone my newshound skills, and become 35% accurate.

I know I can do it … just wait and see!

Comments are closed.