And all of this time you have been doing it for free.

For decades, women from all walks of life have arrived in Las Vegas, and proceeded to act as sperm receptacles for the entire State of Nevada.

A large number of them have bought into the completely false and misleading “What happens here, stays here” myth.

They go home with chlamydia, syphilis, or newly-formed embryos, and say “How could this happen? The commercials swore that I would leave these things back in Vegas.”

I am a firm believer that venereal disease and abortion clinics nationwide should be required to kickback a certain portion of their profits to Las Vegas (LVCVA are you listening? I just found us a new source of revenue!) … but that’s another issue altogether.

Never mind that the feminist movement is a ruse which was started in large part because the government realized that it was unable to tax half of the population, because said population had the audacity to take care of their families. The government realized that much more money could be made by redefining gender roles, and I’ll be damned if it didn’t work fabulously. Hell, far from a free-thinking radical … Gloria Steinem worked for the CIA (no joke, read her biography).

And through a series of interesting developments (many indirectly funded through said agency), she started “Ms. Magazine”, which is largely credited for starting the “Feminist Movement”.

And what did this magazine say?

“Ms. Magazine” said “Be a whore!”, and if there is anything we have learned in recent history, it is that women will do whatever some random magazine tells them to do.

As long as it is glossy. The magazine has to be glossy. They won’t do what the “Auto Trader” tells them to do because it is printed on yucky plain paper.

Why do you think Oprah started a magazine? And a glossy one at that!

Sure, chicks think they are being “empowered”, yet have no idea they have been completely manipulated for the past 40 years. “Empowered” sounds much, much more appealing and legitimate than “convinced to becoming a skank”.

Women … bless their hearts, if they didn’t have vaginas, Darwin would have dispensed of them 1,000 years ago.

But they do. They DO have vaginas, and that’s why VegasRex is the largest supporter of women on the Internet … if not the known universe.

The hell with Oprah and Rosie … VegasRex is the only person on this planet truly looking out for the best interests of women.

And do you know what I say?

I say it’s about time that we gave something back to the women of the world who so selflessly give this town its most precious and valuable commodity … namely … free pussy.

And this, my friends, is exactly what this “Bait & Tackle” place is trying to do.

I first saw these billboards appearing about a year ago, but in recent months they have really increased in and around The Strip.

The basic premise of the company is that it wants to produce and sell porn videos … and it doesn’t want to use the same people over and over.

Since there is a finite number of adult film stars, variety can quickly become a problem.

The solution? Las Vegas tourists!

If you are a person of questionable morals i.e. a Las Vegas tourist … this company will pay you $500 a night to smoke the pole and take one up uterine highway … or Hershey highway if you are so inclined (KarenTN).

Scoff if you will, but that is hell of a lot better than what The Palms pays.

And if you think that bitches aren’t smoking the pole in this town for the mere cost of two overpriced drinks, then you my friend, have never really been to Las Vegas.

Of course, once you collect your 500 bones, your freakiness won’t “stay in Vegas”. You will be on thousands of TV screens across the nation, and chances are good that I will personally spank my monkey to you at some point.

I have heard some criticism around town about this company. People think it is tasteless, should not be allowed to operate, and should be outlawed. They equate it with prostitution (which should be legal everywhere, IMHO).

As a matter of fact, to my great surprise, probably more than half of the people I know disapprove of this company.

Frankly, I’m not sure why.

Some people have expressed that the “talent” may be intoxicated, and may later regret it. Which is a valid point.

My response is this: If you can’t hold your liquor or drugs … don’t take them … or take less of them.

Grown adults should know what they can and can’t handle. If I think a fistful of Valium might render me unable to drive, then I don’t take a fistful of Valium before I drive (though it certainly helps calm the fear of driving in this town).

Similarly, if I think a fifth of Vodka might render me unable to make a rational decision in a casino full of strangers, I don’t drink a fifth of Vodka in a casino full of strangers.

Grow up and take responsibility for yourself and your actions.

Seems rational, no?

Apparently this only seems rational to me.

Of course, it’s not just women who fly in and bang everything in sight, men do it too *cough*BigEasy*cough*, but let’s face it, nobody wants to hear about dudes making pornos. That is just disturbing. Nobody except deviants (KarenTN) wants to see the veined lizard. It’s arguably the most disgusting of all of God’s creations.

Anyway …

Maybe the increase in billboards is simply a sign of the economic times. People can’t afford rooms, they can’t afford to gamble, and they come to Vegas with less money than they did before.

And I suppose this is one solution.

I certainly don’t advocate it and this is honestly not a ringing endorsement. Even I find it sleazy and it grosses me out a bit … but if you are going to come to town and strap a mattress to your back anyway … why not have your airfare paid for?

What happens in Vegas DOES NOT stay in Vegas, but $500 pays for the abortion back home.

Come to think of it, that would make a really bitchin’ advertising slogan too …