I’ve hung out on Fremont Street several times in the past month, and each time I always spend at least two or three minutes watching the fascinating new marketing technique that the “The Girls of Glitter Gulch” is employing to try and get people inside the club.

It is fascinating, because it takes “corny” and “cheesy” to levels I have never seen before … even in Las Vegas.

That’s really saying something.

Of course, The Review Journal going blue is still the tackiest thing in town (I’ve been challenged to work that into every post), but this Glitter Gulch billboard is almost certainly a close second.

So, how is this iconic Downtown grind joint trying to lure people in?

The basic premise is to stick bikini-clad women on the marquee, and when they rip their top off, some phrase such as “yikes!”, or “humph!” covers their knockers.

This is supposed to make Cletus say “Hey, that there sign got my pecker hard and they cut me off from soilin’ my shorts. Ima gonna have to pay to see them there boobies for myself.”

Frankly, I have no idea if it works or not.

The sign entertains me to no end, because it is just so insulting to the intellect that it may be sheer brilliance.

There is a fine line between genius and insanity, and maybe the owners of Glitter Gulch have found it.

So, does the Gulch deliver?

It’s hard to say. This was the last time I went to a Vegas Strip Club.

Since I have turned 40, it may be time for me to find out if I am still, indeed, the most handsome man in Las Vegas.

I must be validated. At this age, I either need compliments from strippers, or I will need to go out and buy a bunch of expensive shit that I don’t need, such as one of those penis shaped cars.

I’m thinking fake compliments from strippers will be cheaper.

I have never actually been inside of Glitter Gulch, but for the benefit of our readers, I may have to do some research. Purely for your benefit, of course.

What can I say … I suffer for your entertainment.

Anyway, if you would like to see what I am talking about, hit play on the video at the top.

It’s a perfectly good waste of three minutes.

I promise.