Due to the high profile of The Strip, it’s all too easy to forget about the other fine establishments in Las Vegas.

I had to take care of some things on the east side today, and had all but forgotten about The Peter Pan.

That’s right, “The” Peter Pan, like it says right there on the sign. These guys aren’t about to be outdone by the likes of “The” Mirage and “The” Wynn, The Peter Pan is every bit an institution as the rest of them.

And why wouldn’t it be? It’s right on a CAT bus line and a two block walk from a 7-11.

You don’t get that kind of convenience elsewhere.

Of course, nothing says “opulence” like The Blue Angel Motel.

You won’t get pesky traffic noise in these palatial accommodations. They don’t even have windows facing the street.

And quit wringing your hands over booking mid-week and “off peak” times of the year. You can stay in fabulous Las Vegas for weeks at a time for one low price!

Of course, the hookers and meth will cost you extra, unless you sign up for the Blue Angel Player’s Club (BAPC).

Frankly, it is the most underrated Player’s Club in town.

With minimal requirements (not killing the manager for three days in a row), you get the following:

1) One STD shot of your choice

2) Five days of Methadone with Orange OR Grape Flavored Tang. (99% of people won’t get this joke)

3) One free call to the suicide hotline with no phone charge

4) Pre-hung noose from the ceiling for when the suicide hotline tells you to find Jesus, and you become even more despondent when you find him playing on a Mexican baseball team

5) Free cable TV, pre-tuned to the channel that will show the SWAT team surrounding your room

Try getting any of this at the Mandalay Bay.

Yes, my friends, you are greatly cheating yourself by demanding places with “swimming pools” and “indoor plumbing”.

You’re not the fucking Queen of England.

Quit bitching about prices and throw some business to some of our slightly-off-strip accommodations.

You’ll thank me later.