17th June 2008

“RexFest”

posted in Las Vegas |

Rexfest

What is RexFest?

It somehow started off as the Ginormous Member Meet (named after Huddler’s Schween), and ended with me fucking an inflatable goat at some bar in Treasure Island.

It’s that time of the year again. Or rather, that time of the quarter.

About every three months, members from the site descend on the city as a group to drink, pass out, take cabs from the MGM to NYNY, gamble, and have lesbian sex with strippers.

And let’s face it. Lesbian sex is what Vegas is all about.

I’m also serious about the cab from MGM to NYNY.

Nobody can accuse any of us of being exercise fanatics.

There are also monthly “mini-meets” where 5 or so people will be in town at the same time.

Since the quarterly meets are mostly organized and coordinated live on the site, and people publicly post very lengthy and detailed reports and pictures about everything that transpired, it’s been renamed to “Rexfest”. While it has been happening under various names in the past, this will officially be ‘Rexfest #1″.

People begin flying into town on Thursday, and start heading back home on Sunday. In a body bag or in a seat. Few of them seem to care which it will be.

If you plan on coming to town this weekend, you just may run into some of our members.

If you see someone in the high-roller room yelling derogatory racial slurs in a loud southern accent, while referring to the fat guy next to him as “Shamu” …

That’s one of ours.

If you are feeling adventurous, feel free to walk up to a drunk person with no pants on, relieving themselves on a Palazzo craps table and say “Hey, are you with VegasRex?”

If the answer is “Who the fuck is asking?”

That’s one of ours.

How about an authentic English guy (complete with English accent) staying in the Bellagio one night, Boulder Station the other, while spending the bankroll gambling at Hooters and prowling the town for country music venues.

Again … ours.

As a matter of fact, if you see anything out of the ordinary at all over the next week, it’s probably one of ours.

Low-Brow High-Rollers.

The art form has been perfected.

The party usually revolves around Huddler, Becky, and the two Karens (one from Denver and one from Tennessee).

They will be hard to miss. Huddler will be the one hurling racial slurs while playing $500/hand blackjack, Becky will be the one performing fellatio on a goat, Karen from Denver will be crashing into walls, and Karen from Tennessee will be asking random Asian men if they are into anal sex.

And I’m not joking.

As a matter of fact, if you are an Asian man who will be in Vegas this weekend, and you are into anal sex (with females), please contact me. I might have your date for the weekend. Again, no, I am not joking.

There will be another 20-30 people leaving their own mark as well.

What kind of mark?

We’ll know next week.

The whole thing is being planned in the forums, and there will no doubt be live, running trip reports, as there always are. I may post some of the stuff live on the “blog”.

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting a lot of really interesting people over the past 9 months during these things, and I am sure that this weekend will be no different. The group is basically one large, dysfunctional family …. or possibly a street gang … but everyone knows each other by now, so it’s always great when they come into town.

I know Rouge at MGM is involved. There is a waitress there named “Anya” that several of us want to see naked, and we think we can make that happen, so it has become a regular stop.

Voodoo on top of The Rio is involved, as is the Foundation Room atop the Mandalay Bay. After that, it’s hard to say.

If we happen to darken your doorstep this weekend, and you treat us like shit … it will be all over the site by Monday, complete with pictures and in-depth details about why you are a rotten, no-good motherfucker.

So please try to be pleasant and smile when a group of people descends upon your business and proceeds to have coitus with inflatable animals in front of your high-roller clientèle.

Trust me, our people are more important.

With this shit economy, their frequent visits and utter disdain for coupon-clipping probably keeps the whole town afloat.

As far as Las Vegas this weekend, well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

P.S. My goat was stolen from the bar by Treasure Island staff and I would greatly appreciate its return …. EMPTY!