Even though the weekend was fairly crowded, the monorail wasn’t.

As a matter of fact, I had a car all to myself.

I have recorded all of the ridiculously corny things that are fed over the monorail PA system from end-to-end, and one of these days I am going to put them all up … for the sole purpose of making fun of them (what else?).

They are awful. Just fucking awful.

In my effort to single-handedly support the monorail by using it as my personal transportation system, I have heard all of these announcements over 100 times each.

Usually when I am in the rail car with other people, I will feign hysterical laughter at each comment that comes over the speakers.

I’m not kidding, I have embarrassed many a companion, and confused many a tourist who quizzically looked at me and wondered if I am really having a fit of laughter. By the third announcement, they finally realize that I am just a jackass.

Monorail Announcement: “Wow it seems like this Vegas place might start really catching on!”

Me: “BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Hey, do you guys get it? They were being sarcastic about the popularity of Las Vegas. That’s some real “A” material comedy that you won’t get anywhere else! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Some people don’t get my sarcasm, and think I am easily amused and/or insane. Some people try to suppress themselves, then end up busting out laughing too.

One of these days someone is going to stab me on the monorail.

Probably when the NBA is in town.

Pacman Jones will most likely be involved.

Anyway, I rode alone on Monday.

Click “play” on the video at the top of this post to re-live my journey.