CAT bus stands for “Citizens Area Transit” … and they are the city buses of the Las Vegas Valley. People often ask me “If I am staying in Downtown, should I just take the CAT bus instead of springing for a cab? “My reply is always the same: “Go ahead, I dare you.”

I did exactly this today. I had to go to Downtown for a bit, and instead of cabbing it, I decided to just hop on the bus since it has been a while since I have taken a non-Deuce bus to Downtown.

I certainly wasn’t lacking entertainment during the trip.

A fight broke out between two people in the back of the bus. It started after the lady in the glasses accused the man in front of her of not minding his own business, and she then yelled at him to get out of her face. He took it calmly at first, but she crossed the line when she wagged her finger in front of his face and gave him a good dose of “neck rolling”. You can hear him expressing his displeasure in the video below.

Joints, one guy licked the paper, the other guy rolled them up:

No, I’m not kidding.

Seriously, I cannot imagine any regular people enjoying their trip on the CAT bus to Downtown.

It’s fun in a weird sort of way, but is probably not suitable for the average tourist. You have to be a little bit twisted, and if you don’t look like a bum (which is an angle that I always have covered), your chances of getting robbed are better than getting food poisoning at the Imperial Palace Buffet.

Outside of The Strip and the gated communities, Las Vegas is Los Angeles … with twice the crime and half the intellect.

Nowhere is this more apparent than an off-strip CAT bus.

The buses are rolling insane asylums. This explains why I can ride them, but most people who consider themselves “normal” would probably do well by avoiding them altogether.

I got to participate in some cool conversations.

I talked to a former housekeeper at the Western Hotel.

She regaled me with stories about how they often had to blackball people from the hotel, and how they frequently had to throw out furniture because it was beyond repair.

She told me about one room that she entered that had whipped cream all over the mirrors, walls, and floor … and food was thrown all over the ceilings and walls.  “Fluids” were all over the bed, floor, and furniture. The bed was also stuffed with food. She told me that I wouldn’t believe the many strange things that she has seen.

I didn’t admit to her that it was my room that she was talking about.

Sometimes a man needs to jizz on the ceiling and sleep on a ham sandwhich.

I just don’t see the problem.

Another lady was berating her husband. The husband wanted to name his new $200 pit bull “Tazzy”. The woman screamed at the man, forbidding him to name the dog Tazzy, because “We already have a pit bull named Tazzy”.

Apparently, the guy wants two pit bulls named Tazzy. Won’t they both come running when he calls one of them?

I didn’t bring it up.

Another lady was screaming to nobody in particular that she was going to leave her husband because he made her watch Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy in the bedroom, while he watched his shows in the living room. “He don’t let me watch my stories on the living room TV, he only watch what he wants. If I want to watch what I want, I have to go in the bedroom. I’m leaving his ass”.

This happy gentleman sang Jingle Bells the second he entered the bus, until I got off the bus (roughly 30 minutes). He was kind enough to pose for this photo.

There was also a thumb sucker:

And an ass crack:

The CAT bus is like group therapy for the ghetto. People who can’t shell out $200/hour for someone to listen to them bitch about life, just get on the CAT bus and bitch about it to 40 of their closest friends.

So, if you want to take the bus from the airport to Downtown … go ahead, I dare you.

However, I did just answer the age-old question of where you can score weed in Vegas.

VegasRex: Your source for all the Las Vegas information that matters.

Here are a few other random photos taken at the downtown bus terminal:

This crack whore covered up right as I was taking the picture. Her ass was hanging out, but I didn’t get a good shot of it.

You’re welcome.

This is the City Hall park, directly across from the bus terminal.

Gas prices at a local downtown gas station.

Some random shots of Downtown.

The ultra hip downtown urban lofts.

And finally, this light pole fell over into electric cables due to high wind gusts.