Is Lisa Marie that broke?

Quitting pimping dad out like a toothless crackwhore. He’s been dirt-napping for 30 years. Sure, we still enjoy the music today, can’t we just let it go at that?

I just find this crassly commercial type of shit gruesome.

Why not “Kurt Cobain’s Shotgun Emporium”? Shit, I just gave Courtney an idea.

Come on, man. Get an original idea that hasn’t been re-hashed to death (literally).

To be honest, part of me would want to see how they decorated the place. Would there be chalk outlines in front of the toilets and a complimentary bottle of Nembutal? TV remote controls shaped like pistols?

Or would it be the same old movie-poster stuff that we have all seen 2.5 million times?

I’m thinking it would be the latter.

Stop it, just stop it already.

Elvis wouldn’t even recognize this town if he were still around. He rolled over in his grave twice the first time a 6:5 Blackjack table opened.

Trust me, he wouldn’t want to be a part of the debacle this town has become.

The company that owns the licensing rights to the name and image of Elvis Presley is continuing with plans to build a casino devoted to the King on the Las Vegas Strip, according to a Securities and Exchange Commisson filing.

New York-based FX Real Estate and Entertainment said the project, planned for an 18-acre site across from the CityCenter development, hinges on whether the company can raise capital through debt and equity financing.

The development has a $3.1 billion price tag, not including land costs, financing and additional pre-opening costs, the filing said.

FX declined to comment Wednesday beyond the filing.

It told the SEC that it hoped to aim at the “upper strata of the luxury market,” and that design plans were in flux “in relation to the demands of the Las Vegas market.”

The project is scheduled to begin construction in the first quarter of 2009 with a completion date of late 2012, the filing said.

First phase plans include an “Elvis-inspired” luxury hotel and casino and a separate hotel-condominium. FX will own and operate the 2,269-room hotel and 93,000-square-foot casino.

A separate project, with 778 hotel rooms and 147 condominiums, will be operated by a joint-venture partner.

A 206,000-square-foot convention space, retail space, restaurants and showroom also is planned.

Developers hope to tap into the market for Elvis-themed weddings with several wedding chapels, a bridal and flower shop, and wedding reception and banquet areas.

An interactive multimedia Elvis experience, a boutique and an Elvis memorabilia store are also planned for the project.

FX has a licensing agreement with Elvis Presley Enterprises allowing the company to use the name and certain assets from the entertainer’s estate.

The company acquired the land through six separate transactions totaling $221.3 million, or $12.5 million per acre, between March 1998 and May 2005.

The site is currently occupied by several retail store and restaurants, including the Harley-Davidson Cafe and Smith & Wollensky. It generated $21.4 million in revenue for FX mainly through rental income.

“You’ve been punished enough.”

It kind of sounds like something your parents say to you the day after you get so drunk that you projectile vomit through your nose.

Or something that a Harrah’s host tells you after watching you play 4 hours of 6:5 Blackjack before begrudgingly handing you a buffet comp.

But this is exactly what the Clark County Fire Chief told MGM/Mirage after finding that the fire was likely caused by work that was being done without proper permits.

“Hey, you almost killed a shitload of people, but you lost some money because of it. Your loss in gambling revenue was punishment enough. Don’t let this happen again. Next time you endanger people’s lives, keep the casino floor open you knuckleheads.”

That really is the Cliff Notes of the statement.

If you ask me, it makes skimping on safety permits worthwhile.

If the unlikely happens, and the building gets torched like a South Bronx tenement … the insurance company is paying for the building damage, and the only real loss is the gambling revenue.

And let’s be honest. The shareholders take the revenue loss. I promise you that no executive compensation will be cut.

The only losers in this whole thing are the tourists and the common investor.

The MGM brass didn’t lose a damn dollar out of their pockets.

But they’ve been “punished enough”.

Poor bastards. It must have been rough watching the top floor burn on their 90″ plasma screens from the 102 degree hot tub with 5 playboy-quality hookers taking turns polishing their knob.

I simply don’t know how they managed to survive.

I know the word “hero” is used too often these days, but I dare you to find a better definition of the casino and construction execs who had to endure hours of lap dances while someone else cleaned up the mess.

No charges will be filed in a spectacular fire that damaged the facade of the Monte Carlo hotel-casino in Las Vegas.

Clark County Fire Chief Steve Smith says the Jan. 25 fire was started by welders working on the roof without proper permits, but it wasn’t intentional.

The fire forced the evacuation of 6,000 guests and employees and cost some $100 million in damage and lost business. Seventeen people suffered minor injuries.

Smith says the casino and contractor Union Erectors LLC were punished enough by the fire. He says officials want the fire to serve as an example of the importance of getting the right permits and applying them correctly.

This is what The Fontainebleau looks like as of today.

On a somewhat related note, this is what the Palazzo looked like almost one year ago to the day.

It was only slightly taller than an airplane.

It doesn’t take long to get projects finished in this town.

Especially when you don’t bother with inspections.

Clark County officials are checking permits and work done at five more Las Vegas Strip hotels, in a review of whether proper inspections were completed.

Building inspectors are looking particularly at Bally’s, Caesars Palace, the Imperial Palace, Paris Las Vegas and Bill’s Gamblin’ Hall & Saloon.

Officials say Harrah’s Entertainment Inc. has been reviewing work done at all its Las Vegas properties, and that it disclosed to the county the latest places that should be checked.

Marybel Batjer, a Harrah’s vice president and spokeswoman, says the company is cooperating fully.

Batjer says new issues were found at three Harrah’s-owned properties that have already been in the news for violations of building and safety codes, including the Flamingo Las Vegas, Harrah’s Las Vegas and the Rio.

She says some of the projects now getting review were completed before Harrah’s acquired the properties.

New Tourism Slogan: “What Happens in Vegas, Collapses on Your Head In a Pile of Rubble While We Financially Sodomize You With 6:5 Blackjack.”

Damn, why do those marketing guys refuse to hire me?

The Bellagio changed over to the Spring 2008 display.

They have the butterfly exhibit like they did last year, but otherwise had new designs. The “Tree Face” was a big hit with visitors, as absolutely everyone stopped and had their picture taken with it.

You can see the current photos, and compare them with Spring 2007 here:

http://www.vegasrex.com/photos/bellagio-conservatory/

As always, click the thumbnails for a larger photo.

The “virtual tour” video (guaranteed to make you nauseous) is rendering. When it is finished, it will appear below.

This was the scene today on Las Vegas Boulevard from the Flamingo pedestrian overpass.

Even the monorail was crowded.

It reminded me of the NBA All-Star game weekend.

Without the gangsters.

Or the yelling.

Or the shootings.

Or the fights.

Okay, it was nothing like NBA weekend, but it was damn crowded everywhere.

Celebrate Jesus’s resurrection by drinking and gambling!

You’re all going to hell.

Heathens.