And it’s shaping up to be just as sausage-packed as 2007. If not moreso!

Damn … just …. DAMN!

For the past few years, there have been more balls at the average Las Vegas pool than in an entire Major League baseball season. More cocks than a chicken farm. More Wangs than a Chinese computer club. More pricks than a cactus garden. More Johnsons than a …. uhhhhh …. hmmmmm …. Johnson family reunion?

Okay, so I am not the king of analogies, but you get the point.

It’s getting out of hand. It really is.

After the shitty gambling odds, the number of peckers in this town may very well be the next biggest reason that the tourists are staying home.

For every hot chick, there are 6 dudes preening around her, and one old perv within “looking out the sides of my sunglasses” distance.

It’s getting ridiculous, and I am getting none to happy.

Average straight guys who just want to play some free pocket pool are getting more and more shit out of luck.

If I’m yanking the crank under a beach towel, I don’t want the frat shits blocking my view.

Fuck the Chamber of Commerce Slogans, I propose a new slogan for the average male tourist.

“Vegas, Bring The Bitches Back!”

I imagine T-shirts, bumper stickers, mass rallies in the middle of Las Vegas Boulevard.

Is anybody with me?

If you are going to screw me on blackjack, then at least soothe the pain with a favorable tit:ball ratio.

Enough with the goddamn dudes already.

If I want this shit, I’ll go to a gay bath house (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

This is why I get so much hate mail.