After a record year in 2007 … 2008 has gotten off to a very slow start in Las Vegas.

“Fewer people are coming and they’re staying for shorter periods of time,” says Alan Feldman, MGM Mirage senior vice president of public affairs. “February can historically be a slight downturn, but it’s more pronounced â?? ‘08 is looking like it’s going to be a rough year.” The question, says Feldman, is “how long this (downturn) will last and how deep will it go?”

This is something that we already covered with the layoff of over 100 employees by Harrah’s, but the way the executives are talking, it may be slightly worse than expected … although I hope not.

January and February hotel occupancy isn’t reported yet, but the Visitors Authority already plans “aggressive, short-term incentives” in tandem with hotels, airlines and booking websites to lure visitors, says marketing senior vice president Terry Jicinsky. What’s happening in Vegas is “reflective of the national financial landscape,” he says

I look forward to seeing what those “incentives” are.

I think we all look forward to seeing what they are.

3/2 Blackjack at all tables would be a great start.

So far this year, I have gotten 6 free nights offered to me by the Wynn. I know many other people who have had the same offer.

I haven’t seen a whole lot from Harrah’s or MGM/Mirage as of yet, but hopefully they will throw out some good incentives as well.

I sure hope the incentives will not be short-term, but I do hope they are indeed “aggressive”.

Keep a close eye on your junk mail.

There should be some really good offers coming your way very soon.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one.

“I love Mon Ami Gabi … it’s the best place in Las Vegas for people watching!”

I’m sure 100% of you have stopped me by now.

What the fuck is “people watching”?

The question is rhetorical. I’ll tell you what it is.

It is some completely made up “activity” that makes sitting on your lazy fat ass sound less boring and pointless.

“No, I am not bored shitless doing nothing, I am PEOPLE WATCHING!”

Like it’s some kind of extreme sport.

Who in the holy mother of methylmorphine do you think you are kidding?

While walking past Paris, I always make sure to turn the tables on the smug little fucks looking down on us like the riff-raff exiles of a human zoo.

Sometimes, I go and stand outside Mon Ami Gabi to give the “people watchers” something to watch.

I mean, hell, if you want something to look at, I’m here to help.

I like to stare at them uncomfortably as they eat their food, lick my lips and scream, “Hey, what’s in the bowl?”. I like to take photos while they are getting ready to shove food in their face. They always hesitate when they see the camera.

Do you know how self-conscious people get when they know they are being photographed eating?

Or I like to stop and pretend I am speaking on my phone … loudly of course.

“What do you mean the dog ate his own shit again?!! I bet that’s why he has worms!! Did the shit have worms in it when he ate it??!! We are going to have to get him to a vet!”

You ever see people-watching tourists lose their appetite?

I have.

While they are watching you, you can have fun with them. As a matter of fact, I highly recommend it. It’s completely free for you (they pay for it).

Don’t forget, when you eat at Mon Ami Gabi, not only do you eat at a restaurant with an incredibly stupid name, but you eat where we get to watch you … watch us.

It’s not a one-way mirror, assholes.

The only thing more fun than messing with timeshare drones, is messing with diners at Mon Ami Gabi.

Just eat your goddamn food and quit looking at me you pretentious pricks!!!

Really, this is why porn slappers and their employers get such a bad reputation … and also why legislation periodically gets pushed to outlaw these guys.

This was the scene on the sidewalk this weekend.

I don’t think it’s much a “free speech” issue. It’s a “these guys leave their shit absolutely everywhere” issue.

Most of us can’t just go around sticking our advertisements in any public area that we want to.

I like whores as much as the next person, but this is just obnoxious.

Tying them to a utility pole and dropping them in front of people when they refuse to take one?

I’m sorry, that’s just goddamn filthy. And I’m not paying $500 to bang some broad who’s card I had to peel off of a piss-strewn sidewalk.

Who do I look like? Steve Wynn?

Sure, I have my own stash of porn, I just don’t keep it taped to the wall and strewn about my neighborhood.

I’ve always supported the “right” of these guys to do what they do, but I think they are pushing it just a little bit.

The sidewalks are just looking nastier and nastier on The Strip.

A little tact, discretion, and picking up after yourselves might actually keep you out of the crosshairs of the lawmakers.

It’s just a suggestion.

I was messing around with the 48x digit zoom on my camera.

I took this from the cab stand area in front of the Bellagio … at street level.

It’s not sharp, but if there were any say … topless women up there, I would see nipple.

Sort of.

Well, I would see a blurry pink area.

I’m overthinking this.

Anyway, next time you are up in the Eiffel Tower at the Paris Casino … smile.

Is that the plural of Elvises?

Who knows.

These dudes have been hanging out in front of the Harley Davidson Cafe lately.

There is always one Elvis dressed in white, and another in Black.

It kind of destroys the authenticity, because the real Elvis couldn’t possibly be on both sides of the group of people having their picture taken … therefore, the presence of two means that one of these guys is an impostor … and not really Elvis at all!

And I’m not quite sure which one isn’t the real Elvis.

The Elvis in white kind of looks like the real Elvis I saw in a rest stop bathroom between Vegas and Barstow, but the one in black kind of looks like the real Elvis I saw buying twinkies at my local 7-11 at two in the morning.

I’m so confused.