(Photos by BigRedDogATL)

Like they gave me so many times while they were open. I have an early morning flight to the East Coast this morning, to attend a 30 minute event. Then a late night flight back to Vegas tonight. How inefficient is that? As far as sleep … I can’t sleep on airplanes. I can’t sleep in the presence of strangers at all. I have some kind of mental disorder (like that needed saying). I am always afraid that strange people are going to do something unholy to my butthole or something while I am unconscious, so I blast music for 4 hours while looking at porn on my computer, all the while keeping an eye on these fuckers out of the corner of my eye.

So I decided not to physically stand outside of the New Frontier at two freakin thirty AM. The Stardust implosion was worth it, but by the time I got home, there were already 800 YouTube Videos and endless TV replays of the thing, so I figured I would watch it on my laptop from the airport lounge like a normal person …. after getting a good night’s rest.

I jumped into bed at 11pm, and quickly start dreaming about magic unicorns fornicating with albino monkeys while a topless mermaid played the mandolin in the background. You know, the usual stuff.

Then … BOOM!

What the hell? When that unicorn reaches orgasm, it really doesn’t hold back.

So it keept going BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! and I figure that there is no way the unicorn has this much stamina, as Viagra clearly has the “not for unicorns” warning written in bold print across the front.

I look at the clock, and it’s 2:31am. Swell, a whole 3 1/2 hours of sleep for two cross country trips in 24 hours. That should keep me cranky and surly to the fellow passengers, unlike my usual pleasant self. This is definitely going to get me the “random prostate check” at security, as it is already hard enough for me to suppress sarcastic comments as I take off my shoes so that they can be microwaved on that little conveyor belt.

I look outside, and there are fireworks going off beside the Wynn.

Oh this is freaking fantastic …

I make a premeditated decision not to go to the New Frontier, so it came to me. Except I don’t get to see all of the cool effects. I get to see mostly smoke, and feel a ground shaking BOOM every few seconds.

And when the damn thing finally fell … holy mother of all that is good in the world … it felt like the hammer of Thor had been lowered on mankind.

The camera I used sucked, and it’s hard to tell, but it was really loud and the building was shaking like maybe a 4 or 5 magnitude earthquake for the final 15 seconds or so of the video.

So it’s 3am, I am up, incoherent, tired, with no hint of sleep whatsoever in the foreseeable future.

I swear I saw an evil grin in the thick patch of smoke that drifted down the east side. I actually think the ghost of the New Frontier was laughing at me one final time while saying “Take that, Bitch!

Man, I am glad to see the place go. Yeah, yeah, “Vegas History”, blah, blah, blah … but they have always treated me like crap.

Like the time the blackjack dealer accused me of trying to buy drugs from her (I’m not kidding), to the swell room attendant who dropped my pillows and blankets on the floor because I requested an extra set and had the audacity to call twice within the span of an hour (pesky guests).

Anyway, now it’s gone. I may be the only one in town who won’t miss it, but I don’t care. That place can blow me, bite me, and eat the corn out of my crap.

I hope when I take off in a few hours, I get a good view of the rubble pit so I can stick my middle finger up to the window and scream to the top of my lungs, “No! You take THAT bitch!”

I am so getting thrown off the plane.

Next post: VegasRex Has Unholy Things Done to His Butthole by the TSA

They already have video up in the usual places:

http://www.lasvegasnow.com/Global/story.asp?S=6780876

BigRedDogATL posted some INCREDIBLE photos of the implosion in the forums.

It’s a beautiful thing.