What can you say about the Smashing Pumpkins that hasn’t already been said a thousand times by “Premiere Hipster Bloggers with Intellect and Swagger“? (hey, those doucheholes started it).

I remember 18 or so years ago that we didn’t know quite what to make of them. “Nirvana on Acid” I remember someone remarking. “That Billy Corgan kid is incredible, you have to hear him play. It’s like if Hendrix was playing in Soundgarden”.

And even though they were briefly signed to Sub Pop, they left soon after, and we never really crossed paths. I will admit to not being a “fan since day 1″, because they kind of dropped off my radar. Not because they weren’t great, but because so much other shit was going on.

They released “Gish” and it was a great record, but there was just too much else blasting.

Then, sometime in 1993, our bass player walked in and said “You have to hear this”. He pressed play on a cassette recorder (remember cassette tapes?), and a snare drum started playing, punctuated by a bass drum “thump”. I thought he was having a laugh at our expense and had simply taped a high school marching band. Then came a light barre intro … then all hell broke loose.

“Holy shit, who is this? They play our shit better than we play our shit.”

It was The Smashing Pumpkins, and it was like a salvo fired across the bow of every post-hardcore band in America. Kind of a “take this, assholes” to all the media hype being given to the “grunge” movement.

That song was a major turning point for me. I never let the Smashing Pumpkins drop off my radar again until the first break up circa 2000.

As a matter of fact, I spent a large amount of time learning to play that song so that we could cover it. I tried everything. Big Muff, Metal Zone II pedal, Delay, Chorus … I’m not sure I ever got it right, but I broke many a guitar string doing my level best, and even switched to a thumb pick because I kept dropping the Dunlop fingernail trying to eek out that last bit of squeal in the solo.

“Cherub Rock”. An extremely influential song for many of us actually playing at the time.

And it did indeed get as much, if not more airplay, than the more hyped alternative bands on radio.

Of course, Cherub got so much airplay that it is now considered the pinnacle of un-hipness to say that it is your favorite Smashing Pumpkins’ song. It’s almost as blasphemous as proclaiming “Ten” to be Pearl Jam’s best album.

I’m supposed to like something from “Gish” better. It’s just the right thing to do.

But I have a personal history with that song that went mainstream, and it will forever be my favorite SP song, if not one of the defining songs of my generation … in my humble opinion.

Of course they went on to bigger and better things releasing one massive hit after another after another. There was something for everyone in the diverse Smashing Pumpkins. From the screaming “Bullets” to adult-contemporary-friendly “1979″ and everything in-between.

Fast forward 14 years, and it’s 2007 at the Palms Casino. Only 2 original members still in the group (Chamberlin and Corgan), but what do you expect after the passage of so much time.

I’m finally going to be out in the audience for the show.

I have to remark on the Pearl Theater. It is very nice. Nicer than I had expected. I would personally describe it as a “rounder, taller House of Blues”. The setup to the HOB is similar, but it is circular instead of square. It is very easy to get into and out of, and there aren’t any truly terrible seats. Acoustics are spectacular.

I think security is better here than any other venue. They don’t seem to be a bunch of FBI academy rejects or off-duty TSA agents. They used “common-sense security”. I walked up, said “Good evening” to the security guy, and he waved me through. No pat downs, no metal detectors, no nothing.

I’m a white guy in my late 30’s in jeans in an open flannel shirt covering a t-shirt. I addressed him like a normal human being. I was obviously not there to shoot the place up. This lack of hassle made the entrance line move very quickly, and didn’t annoy me like some other venues.

I was hanging out at the bar area, and one guy announced that he caught a glimpse of the set list. How? I don’t know. I picked his brain, and found out that SP was going to do a single, one song encore. “Cool, what song are they going to do for the encore?”, I asked. “Cherub Rock” he said. I still don’t know how he knew that was going to happen, but I guess it’s not for me to know.

Now, my assigned seats were on the upper level (inexplicably more expensive than General Admission), but I planned on exactly when I was going to be thrown out of The Pearl. It would be during the encore break. Because there was no way in shit’s hell I was going to see that song that cost me uncountable strings from the balcony. I’d rather be thrown out.

The opening act was good. I never heard them announce their name, and was busy jockeying seats (I “upgraded”) … but I am going to find out. They were a good band playing songs that did not sound wholly unlike the Pumpkins early material … though more garage band sounding. Talented group of kids.

The lights went down, some kind of old-timey-western music was played, the members took their respective instruments, it was on, and the crowd went wild.

They played new material, old material, and acoustic versions of old material.

I didn’t recognize some of the newest songs as I do not yet own their newest album “Zeitgeist”. That will be rectified.

I have been to thousands of shows in my lifetime, and this might very well have been the loudest show that I have ever been in the presence of. I don’t know if it was the good acoustics, or if they just powered up the sound system, but it was LOUD. And this is coming from a guy who has lessor hearing from playing beside amplifiers without wearing earplugs for years. If it was loud to me, I assume it was really, really loud for everyone else.

“Bullets”, “Heavy Metal Machine”, “Tonight, Tonight”, an acoustic version of “1979″ … they did good service to the old songs while selling the new songs to the point that you liked them after the first 30 seconds.

The classics got the largest response, but the new stuff was well-received, even if everyone couldn’t quite sing along to them word for word.

Billy made a few jokes at the expense of Celine Dion, Hillary Clinton, Sigfreid and Roy, and when referring to Las Vegas said “Welcome to Sodom and Gomorrah”. Toward the end of the show, Billy was very appreciative to the crowd, thanking everyone, doing several “thank you” bows, and acknowledging as many fans in front as possible. He seemed truly humbled by the overwhelming crowd response.

I do wish they had played “Disarm”. That is one of my other SP favorites. If they played it, I missed it.

So they finish the main set with “Machine” and Billy thanks the audience and walks off stage.

Unbelievably, the ushers open the doors, and some people in the upper levels start trickling out.

Now is the time to make a move. There is some cross traffic of people coming out and the ushers have all but called it a night, what kind of idiot will go to the floor at the end of the show, etc etc, so it wasn’t much of an effort to get down.

And I made it just in time. The crowd was dense, and I didn’t get up front, but those tell-tale snare drums hit … and everyone knew what was coming. And when the opening riff hit, the floor went insane. People were pumping their fists, head banging, pogo-ing, whatever they felt like. It was a beautiful thing. SP did a searing version of Cherub that will forever be ingrained in my cranium. Just tore the whole fucking house down with that one song. The perfect end to a great sound show.

Note, I said great “sound” show.

There was one aspect of the show that was, for me, very distracting.

Have you ever  looked directly into the core of a supernova as it was flaming out in a nearby galaxy?

Well, last night, I did exactly this.

My retinas are still trying to recover.

I’m all for good light shows, but half of the time I couldn’t see the band. I like to watch the musicians playing, but more often than not I had to turn to the monitor to see the band members because looking at the stage was like staring into the sun.

If you have even a hint of epilepsy in your family, do not go to this show. You will seize. Hell, the lights were making me dizzy.

I know that the Pumpkins are heavy on psychedelic effects, and are known to be fans of certain substances that enhance said effects … but the lights were just harsh. Much of the crowd was pushing 40 or more, and I think their macular degeneration accelerated by 10 years last night. I had to turn away, or look at the floor during some of the effects, because the lights were literally blinding me.

But that’s just me.

Here is some grainy cellphone video I took of the lights, and these weren’t even through the brightest effects:

So not only was it possibly the loudest show I have been to, but it was without a doubt the brightest show I have been to.

With the light caveat, this was a show that exceeded all expectations.

A great band, a great venue, a spectacular show.

If I make it to 70, I will no doubt be telling my grandchildren about the night that the Smashing Pumpkins destroyed the Pearl.

It was that good.