It has been a few weeks since I had been to the Rio to scope out the WSOP goings-on, and since the preliminary part of the event had started on Friday … after spending some time at the Bellagio I hopped in a cab to the Rio to check out the second day. Could I have walked it? Sure. And at 100 degrees or less I would have.

But the $7.20 in cab fare was well worth not having a heart-attack on the Flamingo overpass. At least to me. I’m sure the rest of you are wishing I chose the former.

As you can see, they rolled out the red carpet just for me, but some other assholes walked on it too.

The first thing I noticed was that all traces of 3121 had been removed. Thank goodness the bowling alley stepped in just in the nick of time to take the place of Prince.

Then, I passed a Video Poker Tournament. That’s right, they actually have “tournaments” for random number generators. Does it make sense? Of course not. But this is Las Vegas, it doesn’t have to. Here’s a video:

By the way, the Rio cocktail waitresses remain horribly covered so that no part of the ass whatsoever is showing (a big reason I no longer go to the Rio).

But I wasn’t here to see ass cheeks … which is why the remainder of the day was a very, very, VERY pleasant surprise. Because not only did I get to see ass-cheeks, but I also got my leg humped by a stripper.

You see, next to the WSOP room is something called the “Gaming Life Expo”. And some of the main vendors at the expo are the various local strip clubs … complete with various local strippers. It actually reminded me of a mild version of the 2007 Adult Entertainment Expo.

Okay, the pictures are okay, but did I get any video of the women?

Don’t ask stupid questions.

Daniel what’s his name was there signing autographs, but the line was about 100 people long, and I found it really whacky that anybody was paying attention to the guy with all the strippers in the place. Gee, hang out with the poker players or strippers, poker players or strippers … decisions, decisions …

WWVRD (what would VegasRex do?).

I got my picture taken with like, every stripper in the place with more than a few leg humps, that’s what VegasRex did. The hell with traditional poker. Poker had taken on a whole new meaning for me after about 2 minutes at the Expo.

Here is some other dude. I guess he is famous. I took a picture just in case anyone wanted to see the guy, but seriously, I didn’t care about any of this shit. I just kept going from Strip Club booth to Strip Club booth. I have a deck of cards and I know how to play poker. Why do I care who else knows how to play? What I don’t have are big, fake boobs.

Then I went to check out the game itself. There was a line for spectators, and the line was about 100 people long and the wait to get in was over an hour.

So I got in line and waited.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yeah, right. I am going to wait an hour to see a bunch of dudes playing cards. I had already seen that earlier in the day (see Bellagio post below). Seriously, I never found it exciting. I never got the concept of being a railbird. You have to be extremely easily amused to watch a bunch of people playing frigging cards.

“Gee, what do you think he is going to do … call, raise or fold?”

“I dunno, it doesn’t effect me in the slightest, but I am waiting on the edge of my seat to see the decision that this guy that I don’t know makes!”

Who gives a rat’s ass??!!

I’ll watch the highlights on ESPN. I don’t care what the guy in 7,000th place does.

The line to the bathrooms were ridiculous. Seriously, the dudes were acting like chicks. Not only were they ignoring the strippers, but they were waiting half an hour to take a piss while waiting to watch a bunch of other men play with paper squares and colored circles.

Just put on a dress already.

After seeing the lines to watch the main event, I went back to the expo and got some more pictures of the strippers.

Afterwards I got some food, then caught a cab home.

I had a good time at the 2007 World Series of Poker. Although I did not see a single hand of poker being dealt, it was a great event.

Now if only Harrah’s would do something about those ridiculous waitress costumes, and bring back Bikini Blackjack, the Rio might be a place I would visit more often.

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