4th July 2007

Fuck England!

posted in Las Vegas |

It’s that time of year again.

It’s the day where we celebrate telling England to screw off … by blowing up all kinds of shit.

One can’t help but wonder how our UK tourists feel about the fact that we despise them so much, that we put on all kinds of fantastic shows to celebrate the fact that we are no longer associated with them.

I can’t help but feel that we are rubbing their noses in it. Just a little.

I mean, after 200+ years, wouldn’t a couple of high-fives suffice?

Apparently not.

If one scanned the horizon of the Las Vegas valley last night, you would have seen about 30 fireworks shows going on. You could see bursts from Henderson, to Summerlin, to North Las Vegas, to the far East Side. It was cool just watching all of the bursts in the distance.

I heard that the Las Vegas Country Club and the Hilton were putting on some of the larger shows near The Strip, so I headed over to see those. The LVCC shot their show off first, followed by the Hilton … and it all happened in the shadow of the Stratosphere.

It was a good show. A very good show.

It became apparent while watching that The Las Vegas Hilton really, really despises the British.

Hugh Grant … Sting … The Spice Girls … The inability to speak their own language that they invented without butchering it with a ridiculous accent … on second thought, someone hand me a packet of bottle rockets.

I want to show my disdain for those bastards with some flying firecrackers too.

P.S. On the video you can hear some drunk bitch babbling while the show was going on. She did this throughout the show. I’m pretty sure it was the Queen.

Discuss This Post


There are currently 6 responses to “Fuck England!”

  1. 1

    On July 5th, 2007, Paul said:

    The English speak English, its the American’s that stripped the language down to its barest bones. Americans speak American also known as mongrel English, and stand out wherever they are in the world, because Americans are the loudest people in the room. As for the Northern British, its hard enough to understand them when they’re rarely sober, when they are drunk its usually face down on a street in London with piss all over their pants and their hand held out.

  2. 2

    On July 6th, 2007, UKDevon said:

    Nice way to alienate your fans - Here’s the deal, I love America, Love American Radio, Love the Service Quality and Worship at the feet of Las Vegas - However the reason I am not moving to your ‘wonderful’ country is because on my last visit (over memorial day weekend) all I heard on the local News was people killing each other with a variety of weapons - Guns and Cars being the most popular! - When you guys get the balls to give up guns and the drugs that make the streets away from the strip ‘unsafe’ for normal people to walk down. When you can embrace sports that you suck at instead of inventing your own sports and then calling yourselves World Champions even though no other country plays those stupid games. When your Army can fight a war without shooting everything in sight (especially your allies) - when you stop giving the majority of your news pages to the likes of Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan. When you wake up to the fact that we alone amongst the rest of the world are your biggest allies and our dumb goverment will support you and your dumb goverment no matter what.
    In fact I could go on and on.
    But really in a nutshell for what is wrong in the USA just think back to the NBA AllStar Weekend - All Tards All Of The Time!

  3. 3

    On July 6th, 2007, VegasRex said:

    I suppose it was too subtle that I was MAKING FUN OF THE 4TH OF JULY.

    I think it is a silly holiday. Exactly because of the reasons you mention.

    We broke away from England largely because of taxes, and look at us now. You think the founders ever envisioned the shit that is going on today? It’s an ironic holiday … with its origins traced to the when we told the British to go fuck themselves. I didn’t make the damn holiday.

    That being said, nobody in England speaks with pronunciations out of the Oxford Dictionary. Say what you want about our “Mongrel English” … but if you take our newscasters, and take your newscasters … ours are closer to YOUR officially declared pronunciations.

    It’s on of those “do as I say, and not as I do” things I guess.

    And last but not least … soccer.

    OH COME ON!!!

    When I was growing up, soccer was referred to as “the sport for people who can’t play anything else”.

    Fathers would tell other fathers that their sons took ballet before they would admit that their sons played soccer.

    There are soccer leagues for 4 year old girls. Why? Because anybody can play soccer. Heck, Shitney and Bratford can even play on the same team. It’s a self-esteem sport because nobody loses (except the spectators).

    And with final scores of 1-0, they don’t really have to be any good, do they?

    Can you image sitting and watching a 90 minute game where the final score is ONE TO NOTHING?

    Oh just shoot me in the fucking head already.

    Paint a wall and let me watch it dry.

    Fine, so the guy can dribble the ball with his foot and make it look cool, the bastard needs to take 50 shots to SCORE ONE FRIGGING POINT.

    I’ll admit that our sports are pretty lame too, but at least we have scores that can be wagered on.

    When the over/under is 4 points, it’s not a sport.

    Why don’t they just flip a coin at the beginning of a game and declare whoever calls “heads” the winner.

    It would spare millions of people the pain and agony of watching a 90 minute coin-toss.

  4. 4

    On July 6th, 2007, mandy412 said:

    Yeah, soccer sucks ass. American football does not!

  5. 5

    On July 6th, 2007, Iwan said:

    Rex,

    I’m British and I got the joke! Everyone gets hot under the collar when it comes to nationality and patriotism. Everyone chill, have a beer or three, play a little Blackjack and calm the fcuk down. But, don’t diss the beautiful game!

  6. 6

    On July 6th, 2007, Paul said:

    That being said, nobody in England speaks with pronunciations out of the Oxford Dictionary. Say what you want about our ?Mongrel English? ? but if you take our newscasters, and take your newscasters ? ours are closer to YOUR officially declared pronunciations.

    Fucking hell, what news channel do you watch, Chav News. BBC World News is a classic example of how to speak Queens English. American English is phonetic because its “English for Dummies”. British English is the advanced class. As for soccer, its like sex it takes time to score a goal, but the foreplay adds to the experience. The instant gratification of American sports is like premature ejaculation, with a break every 10 seconds, plus there is something seriously wrong with men running around in helmets and spandex bottoms. Sounds like an extreme form of ballet.