Rex's Las Vegas Lists

How To Spend Your Bachelor Weekend in Las Vegas (25 Do's and Don'ts)
March 2nd, 2010

30 Must Follow Rules For Any Las Vegas Casino Gambler - Part 2
February 24th, 2010

30 Must Follow Rules For Any Las Vegas Casino Gambler - Part 1
February 17th, 2010

Top 15: Las Vegas Spots Not Found on a Tourist Map
January 27th, 2010

Top 10: Epic Las Vegas Heists
January 12th, 2010

Top 10: Best Looking Las Vegas Cocktail Waitresses
January 4th, 2010

Top 10 Best Las Vegas Gaming Pits
December 8th, 2009

17 Things First Time Visitors Must Do in Las Vegas
November 23rd, 2009

15 Ways To Get Kicked Out of a Las Vegas Casino
November 9th, 2009


Rex's Las Vegas Blog

How Long Is Your Yardstick?
March 11th, 2010

The LVCVA reported average daily rates as $99.75 while a major hotel-booking site reported them to be $79.

For those of you keeping score at home, the LVCVA is being 26% more optimistic than the private company. The private company also says that rates dropped 18% in 6 months, and the LVCVA says they only fell 4% in an entire year.

Who's right? Who's wrong?

Who knows?

The thing about stats is ... they usually lie.

Numbers are easy to throw out, and since few people have the resources or initiative to double-check them, you can more or less make numbers up and still sound plausible. Even if you do know absolutes, there are a myriad of ways to manipulate them to show what you want to prove. For example, the Visitor's Authority may have used a smaller starting number (104 vs. 109) to make the decrease look less dramatic.

Read more ...


The Resurrexion
March 10th, 2010

I just got out of the hospital, and first let me say that I very much appreciate all of the well-wishes. I even appreciate some of the questionable-wishes, such as those opining that I had some venereal disease, and even the one person who took the time out of his day to email me a simple "I hope you die".

I'm sure the latter was not a unique sentiment, so kudos for having the courage to say what many others were surely thinking. And by courage, I mean "sending an unsigned email from an anonymous email account". It must have taken hours to work up the strength to do that.

Can you imagine Rosa Parks in 2010?

From: sweet_mama_chocolate87156@yahoo.com To: The Montgomery Transit Authority

I'm sick and tired of your discriminatory policies, and I'm not going to take it anymore. If you don't let black folks sit at the front of the bus, I'm gonna post all of your email addresses on alt.sex.bestiality and post pictures of your racist drivers on 4chan!"

The Black Panthers would probably coordinate wholly via Twitter, where uprisings would be routinely thwarted by "service unavailable" and "check out our latest deals!" messages. The 140 character limit would probably also lead to some confusion.

"We are sick and tired of the white devil keeping us down. If you are with us, fight the power and rally at the intersection of 181st Street and M..."

"Sorry, that last message was too long. We will be rallying at 181st Street and Market Avenue. We are mad as hell and will not take it anymore. Make sure you are there promptly at N..."

It's a good thing the civil rights movement happened 50 years ago.

Read more ...


The Blind Leading the Blind
March 6th, 2010

This is exactly why I don't read fiction.

The truth is so much more bizarre.

On Thursday, President O'Drama signed the "Travel Promotion Act" into law.

This particular act is designed to convince people from other countries to vacation in the Unites Sates. The act will be funded by a $10 fee on all tourists to the U.S.

That's right, we will begin luring people to our great nation by charging them more money before they even set foot on our soil.

So far, so bad.

That's nowhere near the worst part, however.

Read more ...


Life in the Slow Lane
March 4th, 2010

Earlier tonight, I engaged in a bit of ghetto gambling. This was not the "play at the Western" version of ghetto gambling, instead, it was the cheap person version. Ghetto gambling is gaming that has all the fun of gambling, without any of the risk or reward. My own personal rendition of ghetto gambling involves taking only $20 to a local casino (usually the Sahara or Stratosphere) without an ATM card or even a wallet. Then, I play along these lines: I start out with $20, and I begin playing at a $3 or $5 table. I play a few hands until I double up or lose 50%. Unfortunately, I do not tip during these minor sessions unless I go on a big streak, and even then it's no more than a couple of bucks. If I double up, I pocket $20, and then proceed to play with "free" money at whatever low-limit game I feel like playing. The worst I can do is break-even on the session. If I get dinged for 50% early, I go to the $1 BJ tables or nickel Video Poker machines. If I manage to double up at these tables or machines, I go back to a "higher" limit ($3-$5) BJ table and repeat the process. If I lose it all ... I stop playing. At times, I have been able to make a single $20 bill last two hours while ghetto gambling, while getting the occasional free drink in the process. Read more ...


Wackjack
March 2nd, 2010

"NASCAR Weekend" just wrapped up in Las Vegas, and following a new personal tradition, I spent a good part of the weekend at the Sahara.

Frankly, I've always found the Sahara's NASCAR theme to be somewhat unusual. It just doesn't seem to "fit" for some reason.

The Sahara is a desert-themed hotel with a rich and storied history (the Beatles stayed here during their first visit to Vegas), and I never really figured out how stock cars found their way into this paradigm. On any given day, you can stand outside and watch a race car roller coaster loop past the iconic neon camels. It's a very odd paring. Kind of like putting a gigantic poster of two Mormons facing the sinful Vegas Strip. As if that could happen.

Anyway, since the Sahara is ground zero for racing fans in Vegas, this is obviously one of the best places in town to spend a racing weekend ... second only to the track itself.

After walking to the casino and scoping out a prime Blackjack table on Saturday, I became slightly disillusioned with how the Sahara was conducting itself. While both $3 and $5 "real" Blackjack tables are standard offerings at the casino (which is part of why the property is endearing for me), the Sahara had converted at least half of their five dollar games to 6:5.

Given the loyal crowds, this seemed very opportunistic.

Look, I understand the laws of supply and demand, and I understand what most people consider to be "good business decisions". Americans think "capitalism" is synonymous with "greed", and they think that good capitalists need to "capitalize" on every customer.

Read more ...

June 29th, 2007

Aga-Boom

Steve Wyrick Theater in Planet Hollywood

Aga-Boom Las Vegas

What in the hell does “Aga-Boom” mean?

The hell if I know, but I saw it yesterday afternoon with my own two eyes.

“Aga-Boom” is the title of a new kid’s show playing at the Steve Wyrick Theater in the Miracle Mile shops at Planet Aladdinwood . The show official started on June 23rd, and I was lucky enough to be able to score some comped tickets to the production yesterday.

So I grabbed my kids (not in the Michael Jackson way), hopped in a cab, and headed over for the 2pm showing of Aga-Boom.

We had no idea what to expect. I had never even heard of this show until yesterday, and I had not seen a review for it … I just knew that clowns were involved. I’m generally not a clown person, but what the hell, this was for the kids.

We made the 10 mile trek through “Miracle Mile” (a miracle if it’s actually only a mile) and picked up our tickets at the box office.

We didn’t have VIP section seats, but they were quite good nonetheless. The above photo was taken from our seats, so you can see where we were sitting in relation to the stage. BTW, that thing the clown is pointing to says “Do not Touch”. And I don’t want to give the plot away … but he did, indeed, touch it.

Though the show started off very mellow. The set is very sparse, special effects are minimal, and the majority of the show focuses on watching the characters closely. The first half of the show is very understated as the clowns go through various scenarios, such as trying to get something off of the bottom of their shoe.

These are not the complete slapstick clown routines you find at the circus. They are subtle and a bit cerebral. But not so much that the kids don’t get it. Okay, the stupid kids don’t get some of the gags, but most of the kids were laughing throughout the first part of the show. And yes, I chuckled myself.

By the way, the clowns generally don’t talk during the show. Much of it is mimed, but sound effects are added.

You would be surprised at how something as simple as two clowns and a mop handle could make you laugh.

Next came some audience participation. They would pick some adults out of the audience, and put them in silly situations. This was even slightly more amusing to me, and even more amusing to the kids. They had a grown man nursing a mop like a baby, and one lady that was called on stage from the audience was instructed to dance … and her obvious lack of a bra made the scene more funny than was probably intended.

There was a decent amount of “improv clowning” during this segment, and again, most of the kids were very amused throughout. Lots of miming, lots of crowd interaction, very basic props. Very understated and quite simple compared to your usual Vegas production. But that seemed to be more or less the point of this show. “Master” clowns entertaining the kids … not in-your-face Bozos.

Then came the last 15 minutes of the show.

Holy Shit!

I was very not expecting the last 15 minutes of the show.

They shot toilet paper out of an air cannon into the audience, and then the clowns dragged this huge sheet of tissue paper out over the entire audience, and encouraged you to rip it apart, and begin throwing it at the stage, at others, or wherever you want. I wadded up some choice paper balls and kept beaning two specific little Ritalin-needing fuckers in the front row who had annoyed me from the start.

Where else do you actually get permission to throw shit at someone else’s little misbehaving bastards?

Now, I was having fun.

Of course the paper is light and is not able to hurt anyone, but if you use your imagination, and pretend they are bricks … it can be very satisfying.

Needless to say all the kids in the audience went nuts. They were being given cate blanche’ to tear things apart and throw it, and that is exactly what they did. The entire theater was in hysterics. Before you know it, the whole place was a complete mess, and I thought the show was over.

But just when the paper was used up, the clowns threw about 20 of these HUGE beach ball looking things covered in trash bags out into the audience, and the entire audience played a 10 minute game of volleyball with about 20 simultaneous inflated objects.
The kids were frigging ecstatic, and it was hard for the parents not to get in on it too.

Given the very understated beginning, this closing frenzy was very unexpected.

The show starts out very, very slow, and over the course of 60 minutes gradually builds into a closing crescendo of mayhem.

The kids had a complete blast, and have already asked me to take them back … which I probably will at some point.

You can watch a brief video of the show below:

While there, I also got a video of the indoor thunder storm:

Would I recommend this show for adults only? Probably not. But if you are in town with kids, or live here in town with kids, then I can tell you that they will almost certainly enjoy it. And you will undoubtedly get into the act with them.

And this brings me to another point.People frequently ask me “How in the hell can you raise your kids in Las Vegas? There is nothing for them to do there, it must be horrible!”

You would not believe how often I hear this comment. From family and strangers alike. I always get the disapproving “you suck as a parent look for not raising your kids in a better place”.

And then I stop to think … “Compared to where?”

Let’s say I did decide to raise my kid in suburban Aurora, Illinois … or Long Island, NY … or (insert town here)

What is there for them to do in those places?

Shopping malls, movie theaters, 7-11’s, and strip malls?

Well, we have those here too.

My kids also live five minutes from the world’s largest indoor theme park, and several other roller coasters and rides. They commute to things on a monorail instead of the back of an SUV. They go to see the Dolphins at the Mirage when they feel like it. They see the white tigers and tropical fish there as well. They like to watch the Lions at the MGM. They like to watch the Volcano. They go to the Mandalay Shark Reef. They really enjoy the Rio Show in the Sky … and they have the beads to prove it.

They love watching the Bellagio Fountains (they have seen every show at least once). They like watching the Sirens of TI on a whim. They like to jump on the Deuce and watch the bright lights while kicking back and playing Nintendo DS. They like using one of any number of palm tree shaded Tropical pools all summer long, from simple pools, to waterfalls, to lazy rivers, to water slides.

They are buffet freaks and have their favorite sections of every buffet in town. They like going up in the Eiffel Tower. They like going up in the Stratosphere. They like watching the Fremont Street experience. The love playing in the Flamingo courtyard, trying to interact with the birds and looking at the huge fish. They like feeding the wild burros and stomping through Red Rock Canyon. They dig watching the impromptu street concerts. They like the shows. Everything from Blue Man, to Magic Shows, to the stuff that comes to the Orleans or Thomas & Mack arenas several times per year. They like seeing bands like Collective Soul perform in Desert Breeze Park for $6 admission.

The don’t have night lights … they open their curtains, and their rooms are illuminated by the lights of the Las Vegas Strip, and that is what they see when the look out of their bedroom windows.

What stimulating thing do your kids see when the look out the window in Illinois?

A tree? A car? The backyard?

My kids lived in The Lakes for a year and despised it. They hated riding in the Minivan. “Are we there yet”? Are we where where yet? There is no “there” there.

When I think about it, it would be abuse to take them away from The Strip. Dare I opine that even for kids, there is arguably more to do in Las Vegas, then any other town in the country.

And we still have strip malls, Gymboree, Chuck-E Cheese, parks, lakes, libraries, and shitty public schools just like the rest of the country. We just don’t need them as much as you do.

Fine, so they see a porn slapper or racy billboard here and there. You know what? They get used to it and don’t pay any more attention to it than they do a telephone pole. There are lady’s asses on the back of the cab. Big deal. Do you really think this will turn them into crack fiends? “Well doctor, everything was fine until one day I looked up and saw a lady in a thong on a billboard, and I suddenly had the urge to buy an eightball and plunge into a spiral of addiction”.

Give me a break.

Seriously, I can’t think of one thing they are “missing” by not living in some suburban hellhole that somehow Joe and Jane Soccermom are so convinced is ideal.

“Shove the kids in the SUV, and we’ll grab McDonald’s drive-through on the way to the mall”. Fuck that!

You naysayers and your kids can have that anemic crap.

My kids love this town as much as I do. And yours would too if they lived near The Strip.

We’ll take New Year’s Fireworks and evening strolls down Las Vegas Boulevard any day.

My kids will be the first to tell you that you can take your white picket fence and shove it squarely up your ass.

Discuss This Post

4 comments to Aga-Boom

  • jinx

    Nice review of Aga-Boom, sounds like it has a chance to make it, although I can’t see it staying at that Wyrick complex. How long before he and his investors sell that thing to the V theater. I mean the mall needed another assortment of variety acts, not too mention the fact the Aladdin/PH doesn’t have a signature show, so they run through about 3 acts every 6 months. (Although Stomp reviews seem favorable, but its what 15 years old).

    Nice rant on the kids as well. Well put, with a fairly new daughter 1 1/2 it amazes me on some people’s limited perception of things. The question they posed to you is no different then asking a dealer where do you live, oh Vegas, oh my I didn’t know anyone lived here. Pure stupidity.

  • Great review…I had never heard of it but I can always the true art of simplicity…not Hollyweird. Rock on…..I do not have kids nor really like them…but, I might be trying to scam a babe who has kids…this might help me. :)

  • I can’t really stand kids either … except for my own.

    I’ve taught my kids to respect the adult space in Las Vegas. They are great kids. They don’t go screaming through the casinos, we don’t take strollers through the properties, they don’t throw tantrums at the buffet. They know how to co-exist in this town without killing the buzz of the adults … which is a task too many parents don’t have.

    I know that everyone claims that their kids behave, and will never admit to the contrary, but my kids actually know the score here in town.

    They know when/where they can cut loose, and where/when people don’t want to be disturbed by kids. And they understand that.

    This really is a great family town, provided that everyone respects the vibe of others.

    Now if only the damn adults would quit fucking smoking at the playground or the kids section of the pool …

    It’s a shame when the ones that are acting inappropriately in inappropriate places are 30+ years old …

  • VegasGator

    “Of course the paper is light and is not able to hurt anyone, but if you use your imagination, and pretend they are bricks ? it can be very satisfying”

    Classic VR