I decided to go out this morning and take a ride on my scooter while it was still cool.

But where to go?

I looked up and saw an airplane flying by the Mandalay Bay, and decided to head over to the McCarran Airport Runway Observation Area … or whatever the official name for the thing is. I just call it the “airplane watching place”.

Most of you know about this place, but for the few of you who don’t:

There is a small parking area right on Sunset, between Las Vegas Boulevard and Eastern Avenue, where you can literally park beside runway 25L and 25R and watch the airplanes take off and land. It’s actually pretty cool. The landing planes on 25L pass about 50 feet in front of your face, while the planes taking off on 25L are another two hundred or so feet away.

When we used to go to Vegas as tourists, we used to like booking rooms in the Tropicana or nearby hotels so we could just sit back and watch the takeoffs and landings. As an aviation buff, I used to enjoy spending a half hour or so per day watching the planes take off and land.

Now, nobody is as surprised as I am that this area is still open, what with all of the hyper-security and everything, but not only do they encourage you to pull over and watch the planes, they also encourage you to listen to air traffic control.

And of course, what would any attraction be without signs that are totally pointless and/or confusing:

Who in the hell feeds birds within yards of screaming jet engines? What kind of birds eat within yards of screaming jet engines?

Hell if I know … but apparently they exist.

So I heeded the sign and resisted the overwhelming urge to call Dominos and have them deliver an extra-large meat lovers pizza for my avian companions.

I like this place, and if you have never been to it, I encourage you to visit it at least once. We have the 9th busiest airport in the nation, and it’s kind of cool to be so close that you can feel the wind from the landing jets blow into your face. It is kind of a favorite place for me to relax.

There was a bit of a hassle this morning, however … as has been a recurring theme throughout the last couple of weeks, and which will be the subject of a future post.

As I was watching the airplanes take off and land, a big orange truck with yellow lights pulled up behind me. On the side in big letters was emblazoned “Homeland Security”.

The guy behind the wheel stared at me, was writing things down, and I think took my picture. Not that I really care. He’ll probably just sell it to the “World’s Ugliest People” website … but it was creepy. Really just creepy to have the Homeland Security guy scribbling shit and glaring at me for watching airplanes in a place that the public is invited to watch airplanes from.

Apparently, you can pull your car to the edge of the runway, tune your radio to hear all of the communications between the tower and the pilots, but if you pull out a handheld camera, HOLY SHIT!!! The line is drawn there. Even though 5,000 hotel rooms face the same runways.

And I wasn’t in a Ryder truck, I was on a fucking SCOOTER.

Makes perfect sense, right?

I’m sure it does to someone, somewhere.

Seriously, if it’s that hazardous, get rid of the observation area. I’m sure everyone would understand, and if it’s between not hanging out there or getting the ominous staredown, most people would choose the first option anyway.

So I decided to leave early, because I didn’t want to take up valuable resources of the Homeland Security Department from, I dunno, maybe protecting the airport from non-scooter-related threats.

Yes, VegasRex cares enough about your safety that I cut my trip short so that the guy on the skateboard in Sunset Park across the street from the airport could be carefully scrutinized. You never know what those little skater punks are gonna do.

As I was pulling out, the Homeland Security guy made a point to pull up beside me and look directly at me with a stone-faced expression. Maybe he was really adamant about me not feeding the birds.

I kind of laughed and gave him a look of amusement, which I don’t think he expected (I think I was supposed to faint or something).  He then slammed on the gas and peeled-out onto Sunset toward the West End of the airport.

NOW I was impressed. It takes a man with special skill and talent to depress a gas pedal, and this man had said talent in spades. He pressed it good I tell ya! I never had the heart to tell the macho “peel out” drivers that it’s the engine doing all of the work, and not them. I figure if you need to do that shit to impress others, then far be it for me to take away their small victories.

But like always, I have gotten way off-topic.

If you don’t mind being stared at by some guys in a truck, do drop by the Airport Watching Place sometime.

If you still aren’t quite sure where it is, I made a Google Map of the place which you can view here.