Here, boys and girls, is how we turn a $38 ticket into a $55 ticket.

Ass-jockeys.

I’m not going to cut off my nose to spite my face by not seeing Cornell in a small venue, but I wouldn’t piss on the CEO of Ticketassturds if he was on fire.

And why the hell doesn’t the Mandalay Box Office open before noon?

Come on HOB. Put down the blunt, wake your ass up, and join the rest of modern society alfuckingready!

Oh, and BTW, thanks for printing ads all over my ticket and using up my own ink which you so graciously charged me $2.50 to use.

The “fee sodomy” just wasn’t enough?

Gonad-sniffers.