No, I am not talking about the memoirs of Madonna’s gynocologist.

I walked through Bally’s yesterday and noticed a small crowd around the huge slot machine that sits at the entrance to the Paris walkway.  I decided to take a load off and eat my Haagen Daaz ice cream that I had bought in the Bally’s food court.

I watched for awhile as one particular group was feeding dollar after dollar into the machine, and seemed utterly convinced that they would soon be filthy, stinking rich.

As I rarely see people playing this machine, I figured they knew something.  It must be ready to pay off big, and I wanted to get the jubilant moment on videotape … right before hitting the winner up for some cash.  It would only be fair.  After all, I was there rooting them on.

But in the end, it simply reinforced (in a big way), why I never play slot machines.

On one of the spins, it looked like he was going to hit it after the first two reels, but of course the third reel pissed on the parade, and the fourth reel drew a blank also.

Poor bastard.  Halfway there and nothing to show for it.

When I left, this group was still going at it.  I didn’t have the heart to tell them that the huge $1 slot machines are basically a novelty.  Most people play it once for shits and grins, then move on.  But these folks seemed to think the “big machine” implied a “bigger” chance to win.  Being that this is Vegas …  I didn’t want to spoil the illusion.  It’s all entertainment, and a buck per spin isn’t as bad as 6/5 Blackjack, so what the hell …

At least they were having fun.  But I sure hope these nice people had money left over for the airfare home.

Part of me wouldn’t be suprised if they were still there … “Just one more spin, Elmer, just one more spin!”