From the “Dispelling Yet Another Myth” Department:

I saw the ad again on TV last night. The dreaded ad that gives me bouts of flatulence that would make Taco Bell envious.

And you all know that ad that I am talking about.

“?What Happens in Vegas … Stays in Vegas!”

Who made this incredibly stupid line up, and why do otherwise intelligent people parrot it ad-nauseum?

The fact is, NOTHING could be further from the truth.

From the time you get off the plane, to the time you get back on the plane, your every move is tracked like no place else on Earth. Thousands of cameras will have captured your image (some of them running your face through a database), the games you play will be tracked, the amount you bet will be tracked, when you eat will be tracked, your license plate number will be taken by the parking garage cameras, your cab rides to the strip clubs and Pahrump whorehouses will be recorded in full (you were aware that every taxicab in Vegas has a video camera in it?), they know when you enter your room, they know when you leave your room, they know who enters and leaves your room, they know when you scratch your ass in the elevator … the fact is that Las Vegas is arguably the LEAST anonymous city in the known galaxy.

What happens in Bozeman, Montana is between you and the cow, but what happens in Vegas is forever archived on tape.

Honestly, “What Happen in Vegas … Stays In Vegas!” is like saying “Come to Albuquerque to Enjoy Our Beautiful Beaches!”, or “Come to Detroit and Leave Alive!”

It’s just completely and utterly false advertising.

Fine, they usually don’t release the tapes. But nothing says that they can’t, or won’t. After all, it’s almost always private property. Ask Suge Knight what happened when the MGM released the video they had of him. Ask him if it stayed in Vegas.

Can we all just grow a few neurons and put this dumbass slogan to rest already?

Yes, I know this information is about a week old, but when you are busy watching chaos unfold in front of you, “some stuff” tends to fall off the radar a bit.

Nearly 39 Million people visited Las Vegas in 2006, making it the busiest year … ever.

This is about 1% more than 2005. And this trend shows no sign of abating.

Consider this: We set this record even after losing .4 percent of our hotel rooms due to hotel closures.

Imagine what kinds of records will be set when an additional 30,000 rooms are added by 2010 with the opening of City Center, Echelon Place, and Encore.

Also imagine what traffic on Las Vegas Boulevard will look like. On second thought, don’t imagine it. It’s a painful image.

But hey, at least we will be able to throw even BIGGER NBA parties with twice the shootings and three times the violence!

And really, isn’t that what our absolute goal is?

The average daily hotel room rate rose about 15% to nearly $120. About average for US cities.

Despite the increased rates, hotel occupancy rates increased 1/2 percent to nearly 90% throughout the year.

I’ve been telling everyone who will listen … Las Vegas is rapidly becoming the focal point of the Nation. And yes, that includes New York and LA.

If you’re not in Vegas, you’re camping out.

While dodging bullets at the MGM this weekend, I decided to sit down and use a metal Video Poker machine as a shield.

And since I was already there taking cover … why not play a few hands, right?

Well … as you can see, I got not one, but two, count ‘em TWO queens!!!

I got an even money return on that mofo! That’s right. My entire .25 bet was returned right back to me.

Oh yeah! Who’s the man now?

And yes … it was a quarter machine. That’s right, not the max-play nickels that I usually play, but a WHOLE quarter.

Of course, being that it was a quarter, I only bet one credit, but still … it was indeed a quarter machine.

Bow Down! There is a new whale in town … and his name is VegasRex!

I LOVE THIS GAME!

All manners of violence and mayhem plagued the Las Vegas Strip and it’s environs Sunday night.

Fights were everywhere … just … everywhere.

I’m sitting here listening to the police scanner as I type this, and they are currently trying to sort out a fight and shooting in the MGM parking garage, a triple-shooting at the Minxx strip club (rapper “Nelly” was inside), a shooting at a liquor store near the strip, and a massive fight at the Tryst nightclub at Wynn between “rappers and ballers”. Supposedly “Young Jeezy” and “Slim Thug” were involved.

362 Arrests have been made so far.

There are reports of local restaurant workers and other employees refusing to go to work this weekend because they were concerned for their safety.

“I have lived in Las Vegas for 20 years and I have never seen it as bad as this,” said one veteran taxi driver who makes regular trips to the airport.

The owner of Coco’s said on TV that her employees were walking off the job or not coming to work because “We were being spat at, we were having food thrown at us, and we were not able to serve our customers …. those people just took over the place”.

“It was filled with an element of violence. They don’t want to pay their bills. They don’t want to respect us or each other,” said Teresa Frey, general manager for Coco’s restaurant…”Frey says she lost 20-percent of her revenue because of people walking out on their bills. She closed the 24-hour restaurant from 2 a.m. to 4 a.m. out of concern.”I have been spit on. I have had food thrown at me. I have lost two servers out of fear. I have locked my door out of the fear of violence,” Frey said. “I know that any amount of revenue I made does not justify me being assaulted,” She said.

Nothing says “The NBA Loves Las Vegas” like being spat at and having food flung at you.

Visitors also felt the different kind of Las Vegas atmosphere. “There was a problem with the people walking in front of cars and things like that,” said David Hart, a visitor from Houston.

Gwen and David Hart flew into town on Friday and when they saw the large groups of younger NBA fans, they say they avoided them to avoid problems.

That’s the same technique David Botero and his wife used. “It was definitely a Las Vegas we had not seen in the past. It was not vintage Vegas at all,” David Botero said. He moved from Las Vegas to New York three years ago. His wife surprised him with a 30th birthday trip back to the city they both love. It turned out to be bad timing.

Just coming over the scanner 6:15am: The life of a Mandalay Bay employee was just threatened by two males, police responding …

Update 8:59am: An athlete was involved in the violence. Police are withholding the name.

Update 2:01pm: We got this report sent to us by one of our readers:

“I heard the “athlete” involved in one of the shootings is Pacman Jones of the
Tennessee Titans. Word is he shot a guy who is now fighting for his life in
the hospital and if he does survive he’ll be paralyzed.”

Update 7:45pm: Many thanks to all of the readers writing in to tell us what they know of various stories relating to last night’s events.

Here is another website referring to Pacman’s involvement in the Minxx shooting.

Norm’s Site is also reporting it.

Here is “yet another interesting article” reporting on the weekend in general. It includes a poll.

As of the moment, this is how the voting stands:

How Would You Rate the NBA’s All-Star Weekend in Las Vegas?

Failure: 85%

Success: 15%

Total Votes: 67,781

First things first. The Pictures:

http://www.vegasrex.com/photos/nba-allstar-weekend-2007/

“Impossible is Nothing”. Except getting a ticket to the All-Star game as a mere peon fan. Or driving down the strip in less than 3 hours.

Yes, “Impossible is Nothing”.

At least that is what I have been told all weekend, from signs posted all over town.

What does that saying mean?

Hell if I know.

This is how the dictionary defines “impossible”:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/impossible

Apparently it is something.

But hey, you can’t possibly expect the NBA or its sponsors to use a dictionary. That would be silly.

So anyway, the 2007 NBA All-Star weekend had finally come and it was time to see what was shaking.

Preliminary reports were that, at least from the local workers I knew, it was not terribly pleasant on the strip. Though I am positive that the news won’t spin it that way. I can see it now … “All-Star Game a Great Success and the Casinos Were Ecstatic and There Were No Problems”, etc, etc. We are all familiar with the mainstream media by now that we could write the scripts for them.

There had already been a few shootings and at least one fatality on the Strip, many altercations, and people were telling me that they were not going back to the Strip until Tuesday.

Perhaps some were exaggerating for affect.

Whatever. To each his/her own.

I was thinking of taking my kid to the All-Star Jam today (Sunday), but I wanted to scope out the scene for myself first (that, and play some cards at Mandalay and chat with a few folks over there).

I disembarked from the Monorail at the MGM station, stopped and ate a pretzel, and proceeded into the casino. The place was packed. Not with gamblers, but with pedestrians. It was so crowded that I took a few steps, stood for a few moments, then took a few more steps. You could not just walk at a leisurely pace through the casino. But I expected as much. Lots of people are in our fine town. Cool. That’s our bread and butter. I was happy to see them.

As I got past the first few rows of video poker & slot machines, a group of about 10 black guys came walking quickly out of the food court hallway, flailing their arms in a V shape toward the ground (kind of like in those rap videos), and started yelling.

Yelling what, you may be asking?

Now, I didn’t catch every word, and I am paraphrasing, but this is a pretty close approximation of what they said:

“Ya’ll motherfuckers betta move! The niggaz be takin over this weekend! You slow-assed honky motherfuckers betta get yo’ ass home, cause we own this bitch now!”

So, being the slow-assed honky motherfucker that I am, I promptly turned around and proceeded home, realizing that I was nothing but a useless lame white person who had no right to be in a town full of cool black folks who were going to bust a cap in my ass because of the horribly pale color of my skin.

At least I thought about doing that … but on second thought, I decided to tough it out on the mean streets of the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino.

Unfortunately, scenes somewhat similar to this played out a couple of more times during the day in various places, but for whatever reason, security never stepped in and nobody said anything to these groups. There was most certainly a discernible “thug element” this weekend. Half of the crackers looked scared and were giving themselves the “what did we get ourselves into” look.

I felt bad at one point when a group of black guys turned their attention to a group of Asian tourists and started making “ching chong ching chong” sounds at them. These Asian folks had done nothing and they were getting picked on and laughed at by the black guys for simply being Asian … and one of the people from the black group even screamed “You slanty-eyed motherfuckers!”.

Nice.

I’m sure these people are taking a favorable impression back to Asia with them.

It really was sad.

But, I digress. Thugs are people too. They are spending money in our town and enjoying themselves. That’s what Vegas is for. And people get rowdy sometimes. I was also educated. I learned that “Nigga” is a substitute for virtually every word in the English language. Later in the day, standing at the bus stop, one black guy said to another, “hey, we getting on that nigga right there” as he pointed to the Deuce bus. The bus itself being the “Nigga”. Who knew?

It really does make the language easier to speak.

Interestingly, the MGM Poker Room was almost empty. 4 tables were running, and there wasn’t much of a list. This is very atypical of a Saturday.

I crossed the various bridges and jumped on the necessary tram to arrive at the Mandalay. I was still lucky to have been unscathed by the “niggaz” who had earlier ordered me out of town. Sometimes one gets lucky. Hey guys, if you are reading this … thanks for letting me share the city with you. It was mighty white of you … I mean, it was mighty … oh hell, just thanks.

Oddly, the Mandalay casino floor was also pretty empty, as was the poker room. I jumped right into a 6-handed 1-2 NL game, made a couple of bucks, and left to meet some folks near the House of Blues.

Of all the people in town Saturday afternoon, very few seemed to be gambling. The majority seemed to be roaming, and believe me when I tell you this … not one ass went by without being thoroughly scrutinized.

Big, fat, short, tall, young, old, black, white … every female in the casino had her ass carefully examined by at least 20 males consecutively. I found this amusing. A little unusual, but amusing.

I walked over to the House of Blues and met up with a couple of homies. They seemed to be enjoying the day, but also remarked on how little actual gambling was taking place.

After a while, I excused myself because I had to go see the NBA Jam Session setup and figure out whether I wanted to bring my daughter to this thing.

I walked into the lobby area outside of the jam session, and was immediately greeted by security guards. This time they seemed to be shouting at everyone within earshot. “No outside drinks, Ma’am!” “Your bag is too big”, and a bunch of other stuff.

It sounded like everyone was being scolded constantly.

Then I looked at the entrance line itself. It was full of parents with kids. Mostly under-10 kids. But something kind of disturbed me. They were passing every single kid through a metal detector. What … the …. fuck ….

Where is Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton when you need them?

A metal detector?

I bet you never saw one of those at Chuck E. Cheese’s.

I have taken my kids to several shows at the Thomas & Mack Center, the Orleans Arena, etc, etc … and not one time has there been a metal detector of any sort.

I sat there and watched in amazement as little 5 year old kids had to walk through metal detectors one at a time. It was bizarre.

And you could not bring liquids in with you either.

I got the sudden feeling that I was standing at JFK airport security. I wasn’t digging the vibe.

There were signs everywhere. No food or drink, no bags bigger than this:

Good Grief.

So I go over to the ticket counter and see this single-file line:

And this:

And this:

Signs, security, no drinks (so we can gouge you inside), more signs, more security, more signs, I started to get a headache looking at them.

Then I remember that none of us are actually invited to buy tickets to the All-Star game itself. No locals are. No tourists are. It’s an incestuous NBA invite-only spectacle.

It was then that I made the decision not to return to this venue. It just wasn’t a festive vibe. People looked annoyed, people were yelling at each other, I was just turned off. Not that I am an NBA fan in the first place, but for some reason I thought it might be fun for the kids.

Did I mention that advertisements were everywhere? Shoe ads, cellphone ads, good grief, the town was a giant billboard.

So I leave the Mandalay, and decide to head over to the Venetian. I jump on the Deuce Bus, oops I mean “The Nigga”, across from the Mandalay Bay.

As a matter of fact, here is a photo I took from my seat.

The bus was not crowded at all. As a matter of fact, it was nearly empty.

So I get on, climb the steps, take my “upper-level seat” … and wait … and wait … and wait. The bus crawled forward 10 feet about every two minutes. Nearly an hour later I got off the bus. At the Venetian? Nope. At the Tropicana. You see, in 1 hour, that is all the progress that the Deuce made. Traffic was beyond insane. The light would turn green and red several times and we would make no forward progress.

I realized that I would never make it to the Venetian this way, so I jumped on the Monorail at MGM and got off at Harrah’s. Total time …. 4 Minutes. Say what you want about the rail, but when the streets are clogged, it’s the only option. Of course it was a 10 minute walk from Harrah’s to the Venetian, but I managed it.

Again, the casino floor was not too crowded. I played a bit, and headed home. On foot.

The vibe just doesn’t seem that fun. Between the thug factor, the blatant anti-everyone-non-black racial shit, the heavy security, and the crass corporate bullshit, it just doesn’t have the usual feel. A lot of people seem on-edge. At least that is the impression I got.

A neighbor of mine, who happens to be a cab driver, said that he will never pick up black people again (not sure if that is legal, but it’s not my problem). He said that if the meter was $14.80, he got $15.00, and had the fares jump out on him several times with no payment at all. He said that some of the folks on the Strip were doing this for fun. It was like a game.

He said that he was refusing to go back to work until the NBA had left town, and that several of his co-workers had decided to either do the same, or to only work off of the Strip.

I cannot personally confirm or deny any of it, just reporting what I was told. Not sure why this guy would lie since driving is his living, but … it’s not my business. He makes his own decisions and lives with them.

So, the NBA is in town, the Asian Tourists are in town, and the Fashion Industry people are in town.

I hope everyone is enjoying themselves.

But I say this with all seriousness, and I know it will contradict the gushing media accounts of the wild success of this weekend:

I really don’t think the NBA made a favorable impression on Las Vegas this weekend. I don’t think it made a good impression on locals, domestic tourists, foreign tourists, or the casinos.

My 2 cents, and it’s worth every penny.