VegasRex Spends Saturday on the Strip.

I bet you have never heard “Las Vegas” and “Normal” used in the same sentence before.

After last weekend’s debacle, I was eager to get back to the Strip today and see how much damage was done. I am happy to report that there appears to be none. The Las Vegas Strip is back to its usual, entertaining self.

There were people from all walks of life hanging out on the Strip … black, white, asian, and everything in between. Not once did I hear anything resembling “nigga”, “slow-assed honky” or “slanty-eyed motherfucker”. Now I know how Ice Cube felt when he wrote the song “Today Was a Good Day” after the Rodney King riots. It was nice to see people being decent to one another again. It was nice to see people having fun. It was nice to see the fear and hostility factor return to normal. Not to say that Las Vegas is the safest and most courteous place on the planet (far from it) … but it was back to Vegas standards.

Gaming tables were full, poker rooms were full, the sidewalks were crowded but calm, cameras were clicking, time-share people were back out scamming people (one good thing about NBA week was that there were no time-share people in sight). Traffic was still bad, but traffic is always bad … which is why I don’t drive. Heck, I even had some company on the Monorail today. I took the last available seat in the last car on the train.

We owned the city again. And by “we”, I mean people of all varieties and nationalities that like to enjoy what Vegas has to offer without going out of our way to cause problems.

After an early morning session of poker at the Hilton, I jumped on the Monorail to my “sleeper favorite” Poker Room … The Flamingo.

While on the train, I noticed that the former Stardust no longer says “Stardust”. As you can see, it now says nothing at all:

After hopping off the train, I looked over the walkway railing into the Flamingo pool area, and noticed something kind of neat. Two ducks were swimming in the pool. I kid you not. They were obviously husband and wife ducks, because they preened each other every now and then. Then as I grabbed my camera, the male duck pulled out a 9mm pistol, shoved it up the female duck’s beak, and in a Daffy Duck voice screamed “Where’s my crack … Bitch???!!!”

Just kidding.

That was last weekend.

Right before the ducks shaved their heads and checked into rehab.

And as you can clearly see, rehab worked. They were enjoying the day like their human counterparts:

Note to self: Verify that duck shit has been removed before swimming in the Flamingo pool this summer.

I walk inside, and stop by the show tickets desk to see if the local’s discount on the George Wallace show is still good. But while standing in line, I notice something. A new show is hitting the Flamingo. It’s called Burlesque and it’s topless.

I get the flyer:

Boinggggggg!!!

Sorry George, you will now be the second show I see at the Flaming this month, not the first.

So, on I proceeded to the Flamingo Poker Room. It’s packed. I play a little bit of Video Poker as I wait for my name to be called. Within 10 minutes of sitting down, I bust out on a preflop all-in reraise holding K-K, and a drunk kid dressed with a hoodie over his head like Phil Leek calls me with A-6 offsuit. Flop and turn are rags, River is an Ace. Like I said. Things are 100% back to normal. So I buy back in, and grind myself to a 20% overall profit before leaving. On my final hand, I got A-A in the pocket, made a moderate raise, got a few callers, and a guy who just sat down at the table, with no read on the table at all, re-raised ME all-in preflop (yes, the fish are back in town). I call, everyone else folds. My aces hold up, and despite my initial bust, I walk out of the Flamingo solidly in the black. What did my opponent have? I don’t know, he was angry and/or embarrassed and refused to show. Not that I care what he had in the least. I was done playing cards for the day.

I decide to hang out on the Boulevard for a bit.

I cross the pedestrian bridge to Ballys, and what do I see? Woman dressed as old ladies riding Segway’s promoting the new show “The Producers”:

And a Showgirl standing outside in the cold, wearing little clothing while handing out “Bally’s Rewards” pamphlets:

Like I said, things are back to normal.

I take the pamphlets and make small talk with the Segway people and the Showgirl. She asks me if I want her friend to take a picture of us together and email it to me, but I politely decline. I explain that I have a picture of her already … and I don’t want to ruin it by sticking my ugly face in the picture. She laughs and says “That’s not true!”. She’s paid to lie, and she’s good at her job.

I look at my watch and excuse myself. I learned that when the big hand on the watch points straight up or straight down, the Bellagio Fountains get ready to dance, and the big hand was really close to pointing straight down.

So I cross the pedestrian bridge to the Bellagio, and arrive just in time to catch the show. It is set to �??Dawn/Ayeshe�??s Dance�?� from the 1940s Aram Khachaturian ballet, �??Spartacus�?�.

And yes, as a matter of fact, I did videotape it for you:

The show ends, and nobody claps. What happened to clapping for the Bellagio Fountain shows? I remember a time when everyone clapped. Damn jaded fountain-people. Oh well, I am holding a camera and can’t clap, but I thought it was a good show anyway.

So I head over to yet ANOTHER pedestrian bridge, and cross to Caesar’s Palace.

I notice that they have some kind of outdoor spectator venue set up. I then read the signs and notice that it has something to do with “Ultimate Fighting”.

I note the irony and redundancy of actively promoting “Ultimate Fighting” on the Las Vegas Strip a mere 5 days after the All-Star weekend, and move on.

But I am stopped in my tracks. A brigade of Segway-riding, Producers-Promoters are having a convoy in front of me.

And again … yes, as a matter of fact, I did videotape it for you … again. I really am too good to you people:

Now it is starting to get dark, I didn’t bring a jacket, and I am starting to get cold. I head back to the casino.

I snap another picture crossing back to the Falmingo. This one is of traffic. There is less traffic than last weekend, but that’s not saying much.

I also take another picture of the Barbary Coast, before it turns into … (sigh) …. “Bills Gamblin’ Hall and Saloon”.

Before I hop on the Monorail, I realize that I am hungry. And since there is a 50/50 chance that the Monorail will break down on my way home, I decide that it is best to embark with a full stomach.

I stop at Ventun for a slice.

And yes, as a matter of fact I did take a picture of the slice for you:

Okay, this wasn’t the best slice they have ever given me. Kinda small, a little too much crust. But I generally like their pizza. It’s better-than-average fast food pizza. And it’s only $3.23 including tax, which isn’t too bad for the strip.

I head back home, content with the knowledge that I will be catching the Monorail back very soon to see boobies. Hopefully big ones.

I can confidently report that all is well and good again on the Las Vegas Strip. People are gambling freely, the vibe is festive, goofy things are happening, restaurants are packed, check-in lines are long, show ticket lines are long, and the planets have all re-aligned themselves.

It’s okay.

Everything is going to be alright.

VegasRex has officially given the all-clear.

Yes, Today Was a Good Day.

Welcome to Las Vegas.

Enjoy your stay.