First things first. The Pictures:
http://www.vegasrex.com/photos/nba-allstar-weekend-2007/
“Impossible is Nothing”. Except getting a ticket to the All-Star game as a mere peon fan. Or driving down the strip in less than 3 hours.
Yes, “Impossible is Nothing”.
At least that is what I have been told all weekend, from signs posted all over town.
What does that saying mean?
Hell if I know.
This is how the dictionary defines “impossible”:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/impossible
Apparently it is something.
But hey, you can’t possibly expect the NBA or its sponsors to use a dictionary. That would be silly.
So anyway, the 2007 NBA All-Star weekend had finally come and it was time to see what was shaking.
Preliminary reports were that, at least from the local workers I knew, it was not terribly pleasant on the strip. Though I am positive that the news won’t spin it that way. I can see it now … “All-Star Game a Great Success and the Casinos Were Ecstatic and There Were No Problems”, etc, etc. We are all familiar with the mainstream media by now that we could write the scripts for them.
There had already been a few shootings and at least one fatality on the Strip, many altercations, and people were telling me that they were not going back to the Strip until Tuesday.
Perhaps some were exaggerating for affect.
Whatever. To each his/her own.
I was thinking of taking my kid to the All-Star Jam today (Sunday), but I wanted to scope out the scene for myself first (that, and play some cards at Mandalay and chat with a few folks over there).
I disembarked from the Monorail at the MGM station, stopped and ate a pretzel, and proceeded into the casino. The place was packed. Not with gamblers, but with pedestrians. It was so crowded that I took a few steps, stood for a few moments, then took a few more steps. You could not just walk at a leisurely pace through the casino. But I expected as much. Lots of people are in our fine town. Cool. That’s our bread and butter. I was happy to see them.
As I got past the first few rows of video poker & slot machines, a group of about 10 black guys came walking quickly out of the food court hallway, flailing their arms in a V shape toward the ground (kind of like in those rap videos), and started yelling.
Yelling what, you may be asking?
Now, I didn’t catch every word, and I am paraphrasing, but this is a pretty close approximation of what they said:
“Ya’ll motherfuckers betta move! The niggaz be takin over this weekend! You slow-assed honky motherfuckers betta get yo’ ass home, cause we own this bitch now!”
So, being the slow-assed honky motherfucker that I am, I promptly turned around and proceeded home, realizing that I was nothing but a useless lame white person who had no right to be in a town full of cool black folks who were going to bust a cap in my ass because of the horribly pale color of my skin.
At least I thought about doing that … but on second thought, I decided to tough it out on the mean streets of the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino.
Unfortunately, scenes somewhat similar to this played out a couple of more times during the day in various places, but for whatever reason, security never stepped in and nobody said anything to these groups. There was most certainly a discernible “thug element” this weekend. Half of the crackers looked scared and were giving themselves the “what did we get ourselves into” look.
I felt bad at one point when a group of black guys turned their attention to a group of Asian tourists and started making “ching chong ching chong” sounds at them. These Asian folks had done nothing and they were getting picked on and laughed at by the black guys for simply being Asian … and one of the people from the black group even screamed “You slanty-eyed motherfuckers!”.
Nice.
I’m sure these people are taking a favorable impression back to Asia with them.
It really was sad.
But, I digress. Thugs are people too. They are spending money in our town and enjoying themselves. That’s what Vegas is for. And people get rowdy sometimes. I was also educated. I learned that “Nigga” is a substitute for virtually every word in the English language. Later in the day, standing at the bus stop, one black guy said to another, “hey, we getting on that nigga right there” as he pointed to the Deuce bus. The bus itself being the “Nigga”. Who knew?
It really does make the language easier to speak.
Interestingly, the MGM Poker Room was almost empty. 4 tables were running, and there wasn’t much of a list. This is very atypical of a Saturday.
I crossed the various bridges and jumped on the necessary tram to arrive at the Mandalay. I was still lucky to have been unscathed by the “niggaz” who had earlier ordered me out of town. Sometimes one gets lucky. Hey guys, if you are reading this … thanks for letting me share the city with you. It was mighty white of you … I mean, it was mighty … oh hell, just thanks.
Oddly, the Mandalay casino floor was also pretty empty, as was the poker room. I jumped right into a 6-handed 1-2 NL game, made a couple of bucks, and left to meet some folks near the House of Blues.
Of all the people in town Saturday afternoon, very few seemed to be gambling. The majority seemed to be roaming, and believe me when I tell you this … not one ass went by without being thoroughly scrutinized.
Big, fat, short, tall, young, old, black, white … every female in the casino had her ass carefully examined by at least 20 males consecutively. I found this amusing. A little unusual, but amusing.
I walked over to the House of Blues and met up with a couple of homies. They seemed to be enjoying the day, but also remarked on how little actual gambling was taking place.
After a while, I excused myself because I had to go see the NBA Jam Session setup and figure out whether I wanted to bring my daughter to this thing.
I walked into the lobby area outside of the jam session, and was immediately greeted by security guards. This time they seemed to be shouting at everyone within earshot. “No outside drinks, Ma’am!” “Your bag is too big”, and a bunch of other stuff.
It sounded like everyone was being scolded constantly.
Then I looked at the entrance line itself. It was full of parents with kids. Mostly under-10 kids. But something kind of disturbed me. They were passing every single kid through a metal detector. What … the …. fuck ….
Where is Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton when you need them?
A metal detector?
I bet you never saw one of those at Chuck E. Cheese’s.
I have taken my kids to several shows at the Thomas & Mack Center, the Orleans Arena, etc, etc … and not one time has there been a metal detector of any sort.
I sat there and watched in amazement as little 5 year old kids had to walk through metal detectors one at a time. It was bizarre.
And you could not bring liquids in with you either.
I got the sudden feeling that I was standing at JFK airport security. I wasn’t digging the vibe.
There were signs everywhere. No food or drink, no bags bigger than this:
Good Grief.
So I go over to the ticket counter and see this single-file line:
And this:
And this:
Signs, security, no drinks (so we can gouge you inside), more signs, more security, more signs, I started to get a headache looking at them.
Then I remember that none of us are actually invited to buy tickets to the All-Star game itself. No locals are. No tourists are. It’s an incestuous NBA invite-only spectacle.
It was then that I made the decision not to return to this venue. It just wasn’t a festive vibe. People looked annoyed, people were yelling at each other, I was just turned off. Not that I am an NBA fan in the first place, but for some reason I thought it might be fun for the kids.
Did I mention that advertisements were everywhere? Shoe ads, cellphone ads, good grief, the town was a giant billboard.
So I leave the Mandalay, and decide to head over to the Venetian. I jump on the Deuce Bus, oops I mean “The Nigga”, across from the Mandalay Bay.
As a matter of fact, here is a photo I took from my seat.
The bus was not crowded at all. As a matter of fact, it was nearly empty.
So I get on, climb the steps, take my “upper-level seat” … and wait … and wait … and wait. The bus crawled forward 10 feet about every two minutes. Nearly an hour later I got off the bus. At the Venetian? Nope. At the Tropicana. You see, in 1 hour, that is all the progress that the Deuce made. Traffic was beyond insane. The light would turn green and red several times and we would make no forward progress.
I realized that I would never make it to the Venetian this way, so I jumped on the Monorail at MGM and got off at Harrah’s. Total time …. 4 Minutes. Say what you want about the rail, but when the streets are clogged, it’s the only option. Of course it was a 10 minute walk from Harrah’s to the Venetian, but I managed it.
Again, the casino floor was not too crowded. I played a bit, and headed home. On foot.
The vibe just doesn’t seem that fun. Between the thug factor, the blatant anti-everyone-non-black racial shit, the heavy security, and the crass corporate bullshit, it just doesn’t have the usual feel. A lot of people seem on-edge. At least that is the impression I got.
A neighbor of mine, who happens to be a cab driver, said that he will never pick up black people again (not sure if that is legal, but it’s not my problem). He said that if the meter was $14.80, he got $15.00, and had the fares jump out on him several times with no payment at all. He said that some of the folks on the Strip were doing this for fun. It was like a game.
He said that he was refusing to go back to work until the NBA had left town, and that several of his co-workers had decided to either do the same, or to only work off of the Strip.
I cannot personally confirm or deny any of it, just reporting what I was told. Not sure why this guy would lie since driving is his living, but … it’s not my business. He makes his own decisions and lives with them.
So, the NBA is in town, the Asian Tourists are in town, and the Fashion Industry people are in town.
I hope everyone is enjoying themselves.
But I say this with all seriousness, and I know it will contradict the gushing media accounts of the wild success of this weekend:
I really don’t think the NBA made a favorable impression on Las Vegas this weekend. I don’t think it made a good impression on locals, domestic tourists, foreign tourists, or the casinos.
My 2 cents, and it’s worth every penny.
Check out the first purple sign. Who writes this shit?
The Following items are NOT permitted:
Only Collapsable umblrellas. (Wtf does this mean, collapsable aren’t allowed or what?)
Animals Excepts service animals assisting thos with disabilities. (excepts? and thos?, wtf, who writes this shit, ROFLMAO)
Man!
I really like your writing. You’re witty, painfully objective and (my pet peeve) you can spell. You seem to know the strip quite well – it’s interesting reading.
I have started a blog I call “La Vida Vegas”, in which I intend to illustrate the “other” side of Vegas, the neighborhoods, people, the fallout from living close to “the Strip”.
Check it out. La Vida Vegas
Would you like to exchange links?
Hey man! My link got redirected. I suppose that’s either my mistake or your software’s attempt to cut down on spam.
Either way, I’m at:
http://lavidavegas.blogspot.com
cheers!
Whatta freaking disaster! Not only was the game Hell on the home city. The whole thing was Hell on the viewer. Chauncey said it best after the game, “Man, somebody has to do something to make these cats play.” Sounds like casinos were saying the same thing about all of the bodies in their joints that weren’t gambling.
My personal favorite piece of NBA legal-eeze is the banning of hard fruit as a potential projectile. Maybe they needed to clarify things a bit. “Bananas are not permitted EXCEPTS ones that are all brown and gushy and ready for banana bread.”
Keep the rodeo Vegas, lose the NBA. Shouldn’t the fact that when the melee ensued at MGM after the Tyson fight, it was NBA players caught on tape scarfing chips off tables disqualified the whole league?
We were one of the scared crackers … I planned on shopping ’til I dropped while my husband gambled. He wouldn’t let me venture out alone so what little shopping I did was with him along … and he only gambled a fraction of what he’d intended as he had me along or the NBA crowd was too much to deal with … we’d also planned on seeing a few shows but found by Friday it was too difficult getting to the shows so why bother. When my husband and I did go shopping we found some of the stores had locked their gates at the Fashion Show Mall by mid-afternoon. Sure wished we’d picked another weekend!
What do you expect from low class people.
Blacks=niggers
Whites=trash
Hispanic=beeners
YOU BRING PEOPLE FROM A NEW LAND (AFRICA) TO AMERICA, ENSLAVE THEM, BEAT THEM, CASTRATE THEM FOR HAVING BIGGER DICKS, RAPE THEM, FREE THEM, COUNT THEM AS BEING ONLY A PERCENTAGE OF A REAL HUMAN BEING, MAKE SURE THEIR EDUCATION IS INFERIOR TO YOURS, SEGREGATE THEM, MAKE SURE THEY ARE GROUPED TOGETHER IN INNER-CITIES WITH SLIM CHANCES OF GETTING GOOD OPPURTUNITIES, ALLOW DRUGS AND GUNS TO GET INTO THEIR COMMUNITIES AND THEN WONDER WHY SOME OF THEM ACT IGNORANT AND LESS THAN CLASSY? IF THE SAME WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO YOUR RACE SIMILAR RESULTS WOULD BE REALIZED. THIS IS A CLASS ISSUE NOT A RACE ISSUE SO YOUR CONSTANT REFERENCES TO THE COLOR OF THE LAS VEGAS VISITORS IS OFFENSIVE. IF YOU ARE GOING TO ANALYZE A SITUATION GET TO THE ROOT OF IT AND DON’T HALF ASS IT. YOU STOLE THIS LAND FROM AMERICAN INDIANS THEN SLAUGHTERED THEM AND FORCED THEM INTO EXILE. THAT FACT IS NOW COMING BACK TO BITE YOU IN THE ASS NOW THAT AMERICAN INDIAN DESCENDANTS (MEXICANS) ARE CROSSING BACK INTO AMERICA BY THE MILLIONS. NOW YOUR PRESIDENT IS CREATING VERY GRAVE PROBLEMS IN THE MIDDLE EAST THAT WILL AFFECT US FOR YEARS TO COME. THE EXPERIENCE YOU HAD IN LAS VEGAS IS NOT A RACE ISSUE SO STOP TREATING IT AS SUCH BY REFERENCING THE TROUBLEMAKERS RACE ALL THE TIME. I AM A YOUNG MALE AFRICAN AMERICAN CHRISTIAN AND I ATTENDED NBA ALL-STAR IN VEGAS AND I WAS OFFENDED BY YOUR ACCOUNT. I, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, CONSIDER YOU MY BROTHER BECAUSE THE SAME GOD THAT CREATED YOU CREATED ME AND WHEN WE DIE THERE WILL NOT BE SEPERATE HEAVENS ACCORDING TO RACE. I DON’T MIND YOUR ACCOUNT OF NBA ALL-STAR WEEKND IN VEGAS BUT AGAIN I MUST SAY THAT CONSTANTLY REFERENCING THE TROUBLEMAKERS RACE IS OFFENSIVE AND ONLY SHOWS IGNORANCE.
Tony,
Even though I have trouble reading ALL CAPS, I managed to get through your comment and I do appreciate it.
I do have a problem with a few of your glaring inaccuracies such as this:
“YOU STOLE THIS LAND FROM AMERICAN INDIANS THEN SLAUGHTERED THEM AND FORCED THEM INTO EXILE.”
I can assure you that I did no such thing.
We here at VegasRex have a strict “no slaughtering” policy (well, except for those timeshare people) and we strictly adhere to it.
No American Indians were harmed or exiled in this post.
I appreciate your humor but only wish that you would have responded seriously to the other points I raised. I know that you are more than capable of doing so.
How am I supposed to respond seriously to comments like “YOU BRING PEOPLE FROM A NEW LAND (AFRICA) TO AMERICA, ENSLAVE THEM, BEAT THEM”
and
“YOU STOLE THIS LAND FROM AMERICAN INDIANS THEN SLAUGHTERED THEM “
Do you honestly believe that I did this? Seriously, do you?
Do you think my family did?
Here is a hint, at the HEIGHT of slavery, only 9% of southern families owned slaves. The vast majority of “white” people can trace their lineage 20 generations back without encountering a single slave owner. And if they are from the north, the chances are less than 1%. One …. fucking … percent.
So you paint with a pretty broad brush there yourself. An inaccurate one at that.
You don’t know where I came from, or how I lived my life. All you can tell me is that I raped and slaughtered people. And based on what?
What is the difference between you saying that, and me saying “You walked around Las Vegas all weekend trying to intimidate people, and you caused general mayhem everywhere you went.”
If you did no such thing, would you take the comment seriously?
I never owned a slave, I never slaughtered anyone, I never took anyone’s land. I never did what you accused me of doing in your post.
And you want me to take you seriously?
Give me a fucking break.
I can’t even get my own dog to obey me … if I owned slaves they would be sitting on the couch watching Sports Center while I fetched them cold beers from the fridge.
If you are going to worry and wring your hands about “racism”, consider this: 88% of black people are murdered at the hands of other black people.
Black folks need to quit worrying about the Ku Kux Klan and quit worrying about whether “the white man” may or may not be racist … because this is NOT the main threat to the health and safety of the average black person.
9 out of 10 black people are slaughtered by other black people.
Even the fights and shooting that occurred here in Vegas was almost 100% black-on-black. Whitey was not going around lynching people.
IMHO, black folks don’t need to worry about “racism” nearly as much as they do, because “racism” is not what is killing most of them.
It is each other.
There’s a serious reply for you.
Hey man! My link got redirected. I suppose that’s either my mistake or your software’s attempt to cut down on spam.
Either way, I’m at:
http://lavidavegas.blogspot.com
?
Hey Lavi,Yeah, we have a spam filter running. About 6,000 comments are automatically filtered out daily using a bunch of algorithms including links, etc. It’s insane. The Internet is 99% SPAM.
I finally wandered over and took a look at your blog. Very cool.
That boat sitting in the middle of the desert is hilarious.
I’ve added it to my bookmarks.
Keep up the good work!
You see how offended you are by being painted with a broad brush! I felt your frustration at it through your response above and that was my point. Your constant reference to troublemakers in Vegas by their race was offensive. Just as you say you never owned slaves, I never called a white person whitey or made fun of any group of asians in Vegas. Maybe a one time reference to race would not have been as bad but that seemed to be your whole theme through your write-up. The trouble makers in Vegas were bad people point blank and it had nothing to do with their ethnicity. I see when it was turned back around on you and you were held accountable and painted with a broad brush for what others in your race had done you became real defensive and my intent was to trigger that out of you (which as you see was done successfully). I wanted you to feel what I felt after reading your unfair account. In response to your thoughts about black on black crime…. Yes that is embarassing, something we need to deal with and it is a sad truth. It, however, is not nearly as embarassing as being part of a race responsible for the worst acts ever by mankind…. Creation of Aids, Holocaust, Slavery, Butchering of American Indians after stealing their land, an unjust war in Iraq which has caused the needless death of thousands, and one of the nastiest individuals to walk the planet in Jeffrey Dahmer. I dont want to walk down the road of pointing out terrible tendencies in particular races but as you have just seen I will if you choose to do so. At the end of the day I am smart enough to know that all of these problems are not of one particular ethnicity but rather of one race (the human race) because as stated before we were all created by one maker. Like it or not we are all brothers in his eyes and the problems affecting the black community are very much yours too regardless of however much you try to distance them and group it off.
You see how offended you are by being painted with a broad brush!
Not really. I wasn’t offended. You ask for a serious reply, and I merely tried to humor you only because you asked so nicely. No good deed …
I think it is so cute that you think we had some kind of “moment”.
Feel free to call me what you wish.
Honestly, I could not possibly care less.
As a matter of fact, here are some suggestions “White Motherfucker”, “Asswipe”, “Fart Sniffer”, “Asshat”, “Cracker”, “Low-Life Piece of Shit”, “Son of a Barnyard Animal Blowing Whore”, or “Stupid Prick”. I answer to all of these.
But if you would like to make up one of your own, I feel that it would probably be the creative thing to do.
To be fair, I did teach you how to properly use the “shift” key. You’re welcome.
I felt your frustration at it through your response above and that was my point.
You may have felt something, but it wasn’t my “frustration”. Frankly I don’t know what you felt, but you might want to wash your hands. Just in case …
I do, however, feel that this debate is getting a bit tired and overdone.
Just as you say you never owned slaves, I never called a white person whitey or made fun of any group of asians in Vegas.
You are a true gentleman.
Maybe a one time reference to race would not have been as bad but that seemed to be your whole theme through your write-up.
I wrote it the way I felt like writing it. That is what I observed. You can like it or dislike it. I don’t get paid either way *shrug*.
I see when it was turned back around on you and you were held accountable
Accountable for what?
I wanted you to feel what I felt after reading your unfair account.
Want in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one fills up first.
In response to your thoughts about black on black crime. Yes that is embarassing, something we need to deal with and it is a sad truth.
Yep.
It, however, is not nearly as embarassing as being part of a race responsible for the worst acts ever by mankind. Creation of Aids, Holocaust, Slavery, Butchering of American Indians after stealing their land, an unjust war in Iraq which has caused the needless death of thousands, and one of the nastiest individuals to walk the planet in Jeffrey Dahmer.
Now let’s leave Jeffrey out of this. A man needs to eat, and there are times when only a human kidney will do.
I dont want to walk down the road of pointing out terrible tendencies in particular races
You? Pointing out terrible tendencies in particular races? Naaaaaawwwww!
I refuse to believe it. I just simply outright refuse to believe that you would do such a thing.
Except for maybe “It, however, is not nearly as embarassing as being part of a race responsible for the worst acts ever by mankind. Creation of Aids, Holocaust, Slavery, Butchering of American Indians after stealing their land”.
That was obviously said out of sheer envy and admiration.
At the end of the day I am smart enough to know that all of these problems are not of one particular ethnicity but rather of one race (the human race) because as stated before we were all created by one maker.
Fucking Microsoft!!!
Like it or not we are all brothers
My mother was such a whore!
And the problems affecting the black community are very much yours too regardless of however much you try to distance them and group it off.
True. I’ve been running guns and crack into Watts for the past few years.
How do you think I subsidize my Poker habit?
Keeping the black man down may not be the most glamorous job in the world, but hey, somebody’s gotta do it.
And you can always count on VegasRex to do the work that most Americans are simply too lazy to do.
Now if you don’t mind, I have to go scold my slaves. Those fuckers keep changing the channel to “The View” and hiding the remote, and I am none too happy about it!
And you thought my race was cruel …
You are a funny guy (not). I see no need in continuing this discussion but rather will take satisfaction in ripping your account to shreds and exposing you as a bigot. I thought we could have an intelligent debate but I didn’t know this was a paint-sniffing party. Everyone who views the traffic of our words will see very clearly who had the upper-hand in this whole conflict of thoughts. You were putty in my hands and I made you react the way I wanted you to. I take great pleasure in doing this by the way. I will no longer check back to this site because quite frankly you bore me and are not on my level intellectually. What will come next from you will most likely be a corny response filled with things only you will find funny and I have wasted enough time trying to reason with you. You also will most likely need to get the last word to save face but not to worry your wish will be granted. I have proven that I have superior thoughts to yours and any sane individual who reads our dialogue will agree. After your next response you will see no further response from me, please know that it is because I have moved on after CLEARLY winning this debate and need not embarass you any longer. The only way you will see another response is if someone (most likely you) logs on as Tony and responds back. Thanks for helping me realize even furhter how superior my thoughts are to clowns like you. Adios NIGGA! Lol! I am a genius and I love it!
Okay, genius. Have a nice day.
ROFLMAO!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Okay, VegasRex, go ahead and let us in on the joke. Please. That was you posting as “TONY” wasnt it? I know it was. You created a character made him stupid beyond belief and expected us to believe that the guy was real. Sorry but the only problem was that you made him a little too stupid to be believable.
Nice try!
LOL you had mere there too VR
But you blew it with -I am a genius and I love it!-
Pretty funny though.
I got suspicious when “TONY” went from all caps to regular typing.
I 100% promise you that I did not make up Tony.
I hate to keep you all awake at night worrying, but the truth is that Tony is real person, out there in the world somewhere.
I wish I could take credit for those posts, but alas, they were not mine.
If the guy ever set up his own site, which he should, I would be sooo there to read it every day.
Pretty funny stuff.
Maybe TheSuperiorGenius.com or something to that affect.
Tony reminds me why we spend so much money to send our kids to a private school.
I don’t know there but it seemed like Tony did manhandle you on your own site and made some good points. The last paragraph seemed like comedy but his first posts I agreed with and I am caucasian.
I don’t know there but it seemed like Tony did manhandle you on your own site and made some good points. The last paragraph seemed like comedy but his first posts I agreed with and I am caucasian.
Really, “chris”?
It’s interesting that you (chris), “TONY”, “kristy”, and the person/persons who relentlessly spammed the site in every thread with this comment:
“VEGASREX HAS A TWO INCH DICK. HE ALSO LIKED FOR MY DOG TO LICK PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF HIS TINY NUTSACK.”
All share the exact same IP address: 68.34.10.7
Oops.
LOL! Oh well so much for the genius. I think if he keep spamming you he will qualify for the title of ‘reverend’ or ‘doctor’ or maybe both. A self proclaimed genius black guy who cant make his point without resorting to spamming you about dicks and nutsacks? Im shocked. Shocked i tell you. Its too bad that the stereotypes are proven so often by the people who claim that they arent valid.
“but his first posts I agreed with and I am caucasian.”
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Vegasrex, you own me a monitor. I have diet coke all over mine now.
Now hes a Caucasian! I wonder how he got that race change operation in one day? And he agrees with himself. What a surprise. I’m sorry this is so funny that I have tears streaming down my face.
VegasRex,
This site got linked in http://www.fark.com comments section…
I don’t know what was funnier, your blog or your conversations with ‘Tony’. Awesome. Truly beautiful.
I’m liking alot of this shit to my southern, black girlfriend. I’m a southern white male, and I’m getting a kick out of having good proof that Dr. King did take all those ass whoopings for nothing.
I came here from fark.com and liked your account of the weekend. But then I scroll down and “Tony” starts ranting…and then you reply….comedy fucking gold.
Seriously, that was funny.