What could be easier than forecasting the weather in the desert?

Forecasting a fart in a Taco Bell?

Every day this summer the local weatherbimbo/wannabe comedian indicated a “20% Chance of Showers or Thunderstorms”. Twenty percent? Gee, don’t go out on a limb there.

This way, when we get nothing, they are right, and when we do get something, they are right.

What kind of “forecast” is that?

Every day, it’s the same percentage. One fifth. That’s not a forecast, that’s a cover-your-asscast.

I can make that forecast. I don’t need a frigging “Meteorologist” to tell me that it probably won’t rain in the desert today, but there is a small chance that it may.

Honestly, does ANYONE need to be told this?

Fire these useless turds and lower my cable bill.

Last July, I wrote down the “forecast” as offered by our local Fox Channel 5.

Here it is, and no, I am not shitting you:

Forecast as of today (Sunday):

KVVU Forecast
Today: Chance of thunderstorms 20 percent.
Monday: Chance of thunderstorms 20 percent.
Monday Night: Chance of thunderstorms 20 percent.
Tuesday Night: Chance of thunderstorms 20 percent.
Wednesday: Chance of thunderstorms 20 percent.
Wednesday Night: Chance of thunderstorms 20 percent.
Thursday: Chance of thunderstorms 20 percent.
Thursday Night: Chance of thunderstorms 20 percent.

Is this worth a rat shit to absolutely anyone, anywhere?

Gee, we were in monsoon season, and there was a slight chance that it *might* rain on any given day. Wow. Who would have thought?

That’s right, for the next SEVEN days the chance of Thunderstorms was EXACTLY 20% each day. Not 10%, not 30%, but 20%.

Every day. Every night.

If it rains, they are right. If it doesn’t, they are right.

Thank goodness they sprung for that Doppler radar thing. And hey, it only takes 72 Viagra commercials daily to pay for it.

Just this past weekend, I once again had the displeasure to watch the fore(skin)cast on Channel 8 this time. And over Monday and Tuesday they had “Rain/Snow?” overlaid. Yes, with a QUESTION MARK!

Question mark? Why the question mark? Why are you asking ME if it is going to rain on Monday. YOU’RE the fucking “Meteorologist”, you tell me. If I have to tell you, I want to be on the payroll. By the way, it didn’t rain on Monday or Tuesday, so they were “right” as usual.

On the off chance that any Las Vegas weather people read this , I would like to formally declare that you suck. I mean really, really suck. You are worthless, and you suck. You are on corporate welfare courtesy of your “news” channel.

And you don’t have some wuss 20% chance of sucking. There is no question mark that you suck. There is a 100% chance that you suck.

There, someone had to say it.

Harrah’s stock is up $3.00 in just the past few minutes on a takeover rumor.

Supposedly, Penn Gaming is bidding for a takeover of Harrah’s.

Details are still breaking.

I wonder what Prince thinks of this?

As for Penn Gaming, this is the company profile:

Penn National Gaming, Inc. engages in the ownership and operation of gaming and pari-mutuel properties in the United States. It also engages in the ownership and operation of racetrack and off-track wagering facilities. In addition, the company owns and operates casino and horse racing facilities, with a focus on slot machine entertainment. As of March 6, 2006, the company operated 16 facilities in 13 jurisdictions, including Colorado, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Louisiana, Maine, Mississippi, Missouri, New Jersey, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and Ontario. As of the above date, its facilities featured approximately 17,000 slot machines, 350 table games, 1,000 hotel rooms, and 500,000 square feet of gaming floor space. The company was incorporated as PNRC Corp. in 1982 and changed its name to Penn National Gaming, Inc. in 1994. Penn National is headquartered in Wyomissing, Pennsylvania.

From the “I wish I had taken advantage of it before it left Department”:

“The Drive”, an attraction behind the Sahara Hotel (and right on the monorail) in which people could hop in all kinds of exotic cars and SUVS, and drive over stuff or around tracks for cheap, has unceremoniously closed.

Why did it close? I don’t know.

This is one of those things that I always intended to go to, but never got around to. And now I never will.

My procrastination cost me what was probably a pretty cool experience. I also wanted to see “Eroktica” at the Rio least once, before it was also recently ditched without notice.

The moral of the story is not to put it off until the “next trip”.

You never know how long something will last in this town.

Speaking of … I better hurry up and get those Prince tickets.

I was down on the Strip yesterday and noticed that the Palazzo seems to have made some major progress, practically overnight.

For those who don’t know, the Palazzo is being built between the Wynn and Venetian and is scheduled to be completed by the middle of 2007.

This will be a 643ft tall, 53 Story, $1.6 Billion resort and is basically a huge extention to the Venetian. In this picture, only about 40 of the 53 stories are completed.

It will have 3,025 suites, a 105,000 square foot casino, 2,000 slot machines, 80 table games, and a massive underground parking garage. As a matter of fact, it took nearly a year to dig the hole to build the parking garage itself.

Kirk Kerkorian is offering $55/share for additional MGM Mirage shares, which basically tells those predicting the death of Las Vegas to go fuck themselves. Just about every Las Vegas Casino stock is up nicely today. Kerkorian is overing a 12% premium to the previous day’s trading price. That’s right, he is paying 12% ABOVE market value.

When looking for sentiment, always follow the money, and always look for people who put their money where their mouth is.

When someone predicts the demise of Las Vegas, and does so without shorting or selling casino stock … then their opinion is worth what they are paying for it. Nothing. The smoking ban is going to kill the city, Macau is going to kill the city, blah blah blah. Talk is cheap. Actually, it’s free.

Money talks, bullshit walks.

And money just spoke ($825 Million of it to be exact), and that money just said that half of the Vegas Strip was 12% undervalued and would probably become more valuable in the near future.

The next time some yapping head rings the death bell for Las Vegas yet again, ask them how much money they are putting on it.

You would be surprised at the lack of conviction in these periodic declarations.